Columnists 1 - 200 Sitemap

• About the Official Cracked Blog
• Thank you, R. Kelly, for continuing the alien madness.
• Lindsay Lohan is apparently still news...
• Steven Seagal Is After The FBI
• Ryan
• K-Fed is Savvy
• Hip-Hop is Dying From...a Lack of Field Trips?
• Jeanane Garofalo joining the cast of 24
• Penises in the News (And the Headlines Don't Involve Paris Hilton)
• Kanye West is Still an Idiot.
• The Rise and Fall of Fox's Anchorwoman
• Just Because I Wanted Some Bathroom Nookie Doesn't Mean I'm Gay
• Richard Jewell is dead... Dead tired of the media.
• Appalachian State Mountaineers for President
• Owen Wilson: The Elliot to Wes Anderson's ET?
• Oops, I Have to Pee in a Cup
• New Dane Cook Comedy Could Be Worst Reviewed Movie Ever
• Dirty Sexy Money Premiere! Officials Prepare For Horrific Crash and Burn
• This Week In Leaked Tapes: Meg White And Rodney Dangerfield?!
• Halo 3 Marketing Campaign Finally Corporatizes the Holocaust Experience
• Microsoft Thinks Windows Vista Sucks. Get in Line.
• Ahmadinejad Loses Debate, But He's Still a Fashion Plate
• Monkeys vs. Dogs: Who Makes a Better Astronaut?
• Bow Before Professor Aragon --- Lord of the Dweebs!
• The Season Premiere of Heroes was not a Complete Bag Of Ass
• President Bush: [pronounced
• The Sound of One Hand Clapping Phonetically
• Sad But True: Real News From Around The Globe
• Japan Raises Pervert Bar Once Again
• Two Dwarf Brittneys
• Dirty Sexy Money: Crappy Silly Show(y)
• Video Countdown
• “Hundred Dollar Laptops” to Bring Knowledge, Hardcore Pornography to Developing World
• Paris Hilton Banned From Oktoberfest for “Cheapening” Two Week-Long Kegger
• Out-of-Context Celebrity Headline Roundup!
• Fashion Friday: Which Hilarious Pro-Rape T-Shirt Is Right For Me?
• China Pulls Ahead in Race to Conquer World... Records
• American Apparel Ads Make me Want to Defile Things I Shouldn't Want to Defile
• Wild Speculation About Movies I Haven't Seen
• Farrah Fawcett Arrested For Carrying A Concealed Tumor
• Halloween Comes Early for New Mexico Bishop
• 6 Things You Really Need to Know About Ben Affleck
• Adoption Is Slimming
• The Full Bugs Bunny
• Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, and Not The Responsibilities of Parenthood
• Rock Band Release Date Moved Up
• Halle Berry Digs Waters Sports (Sort Of)
• Pamela Anderson, Rick Salomon and Paris Hilton Require Your Undivided Attention
• Books I Won't Be Reading
• Radiohead Effectively Solves Internet Music Theft
• The Second Episode of Heroes contained a Mysterious Plague Of Boredom
• ABC's Cavemen Offers Funny Outfits, Fascinating Commentary on Race Relations
• Anne Coulter Defends use of term “Camel Jockey”
• It's the Most Grobanful Time of the Year
• An Open Letter to Geico Auto Insurance
• GnR's Chinese Democracy Finally Available For Pre-Order, Ridicule
• The Hits Keep Coming...
• Scorsese to Follow Blood-Soaked Gangland Thriller with Biopic of Hippie Peacenick
• The Office vs. Your Office
• Radiohead Fails to Resolve Music Theft Issue
• Clay Aiken is Gay Fakin' For Jesus
• LiLo Leaves Rehab Sober, Realizes Her Career Is Over
• Like NBC's ads, this Heroes post contains Heroes spoilers
• New Police Album! (If You Can Only Read Headlines)
• Sound and Fury or, The Day Nothing Happened
• The Nooner: R. Kelly, Petster and Hillary Clinton in a Bikini
• It’s a Sad State of Affairs When Your IMDB Page is Humiliating
• The Nooner: Hornblasters, White Supremacists and "The Smartest Money You'll Ever Spend In Your Life"
• Kiefer Sutherland is the New Paris Hilton
• The Nooner: Star Wars Trumpets, Anti-Cilantro 2.0 and The Visible Taco
• My Femme-ical Romance
• I'm Sick of These Damn Ingrate Nobel Laureates
• The Nooner: The Price Is Right, Sexy Halloween Costumes and "Deprogramming The Masses"
• Orlando Bloom Collides ... With His Internet Doppleganger!
• This Heroes blog update will introduce No New Characters, and that's a Guarantee.
• The Nooner: Long Fingernails, Sexy Jailbirds And Way More Than You Ever Needed To Know About Yogurt
• The Love that Dare Not Beep its Name
• The iPhone is a Relentless Killing Machine, Kind of
• The Nooner: Beer Pong, Sexy Mice and The Ghost of Pope John Paul II
• Boyfriend Trouble For Goldie's Spawn
• Star Wars, Episode VII: The Crappy TV Show
• Great Games You Won't Be Allowed to Play
• Techno Vikings, Sexy Escaped Convicts and Journalists Discover the Internet: The Nooner
• Gun vs. Fist: The Debate Continues
• Sam Fisher Drinks Ovaltine, and so Should You
• September NPD: Xbox360 Xacts Xtreme Xrevenge on Competitors. PS3's Poor Performance Provokes PS3=Poo Puns. Wii Alliteration Crippled By Lack Of Funny ‘W’ Words.
• Charles Johnson, Pirate Hookers and The Crunchiest Cereal Ever: The (Friday) Nooner!
• Spider-Man 4: Directorial Showdown!
• Cracked sells out loves Fido.
• He Wears a Blue Robe to Work. Of Course He's Gay.
• Falling Turtles, Fart Deodorizers and Vending Machine Disguises: The Daily Nooner!
• Science Fiction/Fact Mash-Up Predictions
• This Heroes recap contains several excrutiatingly boring jump rope scenes
• Dancing Preteens, Teenage Mutant Ninja Dogs and A Machine That Literally Kicks You In The Ass: The Daily Nooner!
• Freddy vs. Agent Cody Banks
• Paul Is Dead...
• I'm Typing This From Inside a Fire
• Unicorn College, Dog Ear Protectors and The Science of Jell-O Shots: The Daily Nooner!
• The Answer Is Blowin' Pollution Into The Wind
• Dreamgirls
• Old Men Falling Up, Okies Getting Decked and Your Patented Childhood: The Daily Nooner!
• Television and Film Industry: I Dislike You and Your Opinions, and etc.
• Kiiiiiiiiiiiid ROCK! Got Arrested Again
• Crazy Wrestlers, Patented Sticks and Free Tacos: The (Friday) Nooner!
• The Spice Girls Just Keep Getting Hotter
• Turks Will Fuck You Up
• Rambo IV and The Hungry Ghost Festival: The Daily Nooner!
• Evolution Update: Only 993 Years Left To Choose Teams!
• This Heroes recap will throw a stool right through a glass case of lesser Heroes recaps
• Trampolines, Guitar Solos and The Crappiest Jack-O'-Lanterns of All Time: The Daily Nooner!
• Strike While the Irony Is Hot
• DON'T. TAKE. METH.
• Goblins Getting Down and Awesome Pagan Rituals: The (Halloween) Nooner!
• How Can You Top Wonderwall?
• Brawlin' Baldwins
• Punt Guns, Clay Pigeons and Inaccurate Information About Mexican Holidays: The Daily Nooner!
• Gaming News Extravaganza!
• Not the Proudest Day in the Battle for Free Speech
• Guy Fawkes, iPhonemania and The Death Of The Retarded Bar Argument: The (Friday) Nooner!
• Hayden Bezaubernd Spart die Japanischen Delfine
• Oops, I Did it Again... is the Least Clever Title I Could Have Possibly Chosen for this Post
• Chubbies, Nad Shots and Pulling Hitler's Finger: The Daily Nooner!
• More Like Sienna Later!
• Heroes didn't suck last night!
• The Office, Human Resources Attorneys and People Getting Hit In The Face: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Ian's Unnecessary News Roundup
• Scaaaaaaaaab!
• Nothing Says David Bowie Like Discount Prices
• Rule(s) Britannia
• Pencils, More Pencils and The Athiest's Nightmare: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• They Grow Up So Fast.
• Paul Giamatti: Santa, or Guy Who Steals Quarters From Laundromat Washers to Buy Cigarettes?
• Pen Spinning, Electrocution and a Whole Shitload of Screws: The (Friday) Nooner (EST)!
• Sex And The City: Give The People What They Want!
• Nothing Says "Refreshment" Quite Like an Ice-Cold Bottle of Ham
• Tesla Coils, Mario Bros. and The Moon Landing Was Bullshit: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• See What Sticks
• The sluttiest Heroes analysis in town
• Furries, Orange Soda and Stephen King Killed John Lennon: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Beatleohead, R.I.P.
• Where's Conan? And Other Failed Children's Books
• QVC, "Katsaks" and There's A Freemason Under My Airport: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Moby Dick'd Over
• And He Saw That They Were Good
• Rapping Groundhogs, Reptilian Shape-Shifters and An Open Call For Letters: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Moving Things Around Just Doesn't Pay What it Used To
• To Protect, Serve, and Beg for Dick
• Jersey Bros, Phantom Time and Yet Another Open Call For Letters: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
• Cracked Science Corner!!!!11!!
• Apparently, All the Interesting Dinosaurs Have Been Discovered
• Arabs, Lions and Spooning a Houseplant: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• An Open Letter To Ricky Gervais
• Heroes apologizes to airborne fans with message spelled out in rocks
• Crippled Fembots and Your Mom in the Bone Zone: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Jude Is Never Having to Say You're Sorry
• Worst Case Scenario: T-Rex Edition
• Vagina Dentata, YouTube Commenters and My Stepdaughter Wants a Pony: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• So Book-like, You'd Think It Was a Book (but it's not)
• Wii sells like Hot Cakes. Ironically, Hot Cake sales continue their 40 year slide.
• Happy Turkey Day!
• Call Me When You've Got HoloSlaloms
• Presidential Candidates Embracing Internet Fads!
• For God's Sake, Let Him Come Pick Strawberries Already
• Magician Mime Dancing, Sports Hat Juggling and Men's Fashion Demystified: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• What Me Found In A Storage Bin?
• This Heroes recap was going to let you go, but instead will now knife you in the stomach
• Really Fast Clapping, Sorta Fast Clapping and More Men's Winter Fashions: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Ian's Unnecessary News Roundup
• Come 2010, You Won't be Able to Read This
• A Little Boy Who Can Kick Your Ass and A Full-Grown Man In A Really Expensive Skirt: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Stairway To... Let's Say About The 9th Floor
• How Far Is Too Far?
• Scalding Hot Chicks, Canadian PSAs and A Winter Outfit With No Pants: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Children's Toy + Date Rape Drug = Extremely Clickable Headline
• Rodney King: Why Beating Him Wasn't Enough
• Diarrhea, Japanese People and The Fashion of the Future: The (Friday) Nooner (EST)!
• A Golden Opportunity For Your Penis... If It's Good At Rationalizations
• Reasons Hulk Hogan's Wife Filed for Divorce
• A Failed Experiment, Zero Gravity and a Really Stupid Pair of Scissors: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Another Dating Show With No Balls
• Weekly Heroes analysis saves backpack, world.
• Skateboards, Mountain Bikes and A New Way to Eat Butter: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Eight Seven Crazy Nights
• Bill Nye, The Restraining Order Guy
• Lymph Nodes, Detoxing and Lancing the Boil of Institutionalized Racism: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Starpulse And Wide Open Ass???!!!
• Ian's Unnecessary News Roundup
• Slides, Crying and A Baldness Cure in Flat Black: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Did I Like the Futurama Movie? You Decide!
• Blizzard Knows Their Audience Like the Romans Knew the Sabine Women
• Backwards Feet, Urban Street Dancing and How To Make Your Friends Really Uncomfortable In Your Bathroom: The (Friday) Nooner (EST)!
• A Blogger's Dilemma
• At What Point Can We Consider Social Darwinism Reversed?
• Woody Allen, Laugh Tracks and A Guy Who Makes Dog Armor: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Ross Wolinsky: Wacky Blogger or The Anti-Christ?
• Powerful men have decided that you shall not get a Wii this Christmas.
• Chopping Stuff, Stacking Stuff and A Really Stupid Trademark: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
• Led Zeppelin: Been a Long Time, But They Still Rock and Roll!
• Know What's Funny? School Shootings. Right? Am I Right?
• Jesus, The Devil and The Worst Play In Canton, Georgia: The Daily Nooner (EST)!