Some rides make you remember that a rideshare driver is just a random person
Disaster at half the price
In your heart you know Brawndo would be a best seller
Your futility only increases my bottom line
Let me put this radioactive stuff down my pants. What could go wrong?
People love hauling heavy books to their car and always will
With the right candle in your pocket, you’ll never suffocate again
A nice CEO is like a vampire that doesn’t bite you THAT hard
You want me to fill a cart and pay by card? That’s crazy talk
I would give a kidney to stop receiving emails
The only thing you’re cleansing is your bank account
Two million pieces in the ocean? We’ll glue those, no problem
Surge pricing? More like outright price gouging
Behold the power of the nuclear rifle!
You can’t see it, but it’s still there. That’s cool, but also gross