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The following inexplicably popular petitions that have exactly zero chance of being ratified.
Here are some smaller films you've never heard of that should help soften the blow by actually being worth watching.
Working at a school has to be one of the most sanity-shattering jobs out there.
If Don Draper hadn't been murdered by a roller-skating disco prostitute in 1979 (final season of 'Mad Men' spoilers!) he'd be shaking his head.
It's that time again, where we sift through the bullshit for you and try to pass it off as part of our court-ordered community service hours.
Corporate social media blunders are the gifts that keep on giving.
TVs of the future are less like a technographic wall of blinding progress and more like a Sisyphean mountain of eternal madness.
Proving that there's no franchise out there that Hollywood is unwilling to defile and befoul, here's what's being explosively shat out as we speak.
If your action film has a cartoon man jumping off a computer-generated bus, it has FAILED as an action film.
Just because you can make a biopic of a beloved celebrity's life, doesn't mean you should. Especially when everyone in the world is begging you not to bother.
It's really all just broken appliances and dirty underwear.
The walls of reality are starting to come down as the end of the universe approaches.
We've put together a list of the terrible tech trends you can look forward to in 2015. Don't say we didn't warn you.
There used to be a time when celebrities had a human wall of assistants, publicists, and literal wall-fillers who had no other job than to buffer their clients from the world. But then Twitter happened.
Here are five recent paranoid fantasies that would make Fox Mulder laugh his ass off while slowly backing away from whoever spouted them.