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As is par for the course, this Christmas many organizations are appropriating Santa's already terrible countenance for their foolish human ends.
News travels fast in the information age. Fast and fueled by bullshit.
Sometimes the pettiest, most anti-Christmas messages come in the most cheerful forms.
Just because the holidays are here doesn't mean the Internet will take a break from doing what it does best: porno, porno, and blasting lies across lazy news sites.
Some crimes not only lack reasonable explanations, but leave you burdened with the same questions you had after finding out Gary Busey was an Oscar nominee.
Twitter is a forum where jackasses try to combine their best attention-seeking pop culture reference with tragedy to get people to buy SpaghettiOs.
Every now and again, a company decides to seek marketing ideas from people who have apparently never talked to an actual female.
Our geography is being violently rearranged -- and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.
Hey, we love a good fairy tale just as much as the next person. Just not one that is repeatedly bashed into our eyeballs.
It takes a special kind of awful to get called out as a particularly terrible psychic.
If you've got several potato sacks of cash to spare, famous relics can sit in your living room, watching you masturbate at the spectacle of your pecuniary intemperance.
Allow us to continue our never-ending campaign to shatter your delusions of security and leave you a quaking shell of a human being.
Before you show your vast array of Facebook friends you haven't talked to in a decade that adorable/awesome/terrifying news item, let us verify it for you.
Just FYI: Ghosts do not actually exist.
