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PurpleTowel Plano, TX.
Real Name: PurpleTowel
Member Since: April 25th, 2007
About Me:
My name is Robert Evans. I'm an editorial manager at Cracked and I run the personal experience article team. I can be reached at revanswriter@gmail.com.
4 Ways The Presidential Race Has Destroyed Iowa
All the red-white-and-blue hullabaloo that visits Iowa once every four years makes life really, really strange for the people who live there.
5 Things You Don't Know About Strippers (Until You Are One)
Despite the venerable legacy of this career, and the utter ubiquity of strip clubs in our modern cityscapes, most people know very little about the realities of dancing naked.
Activate Your Brain's Writing Lobe (for Money and Fun!)
You don't have to be a writer to write for Cracked. You just have to have something to say.
6 Things Movies Get Wrong About Swords (An Inside Look)
This is the closest Cracked will ever get to actual journalism.
If You've Had a Unique Job or Life, We Want to Hear About It
Some of our best articles are based on personal experiences -- that's why we want yours.
5 Things It Turns Out You Were Right to Hate About School
Science is just now taking a closer look at these centuries-old school practices, and they're finding out that, hey, they weren't really helpful.
8 Election Myths You Probably Believe
Some of what we hate most about the American democratic process aren't flaws at all -- they're actually what make the whole thing tick.
5 Weapon Myths You Probably Believe (Thanks to Movies)
You might want to put on some comfy pants and get out a tub of consolation ice cream, because we're about to let you way, way down.
7 Bizarre Ways You Didn't Know 9/11 Changed the World
Because of 9/11 the world was affected in a number of bizarre, unexpected ways that largely went unreported, for obvious reasons.
5 Ways Normal People Allow Evil Rulers To Thrive
Evil people gain power because otherwise-good people actively help them along.
5 Reasons Horrible Dictators Always Catch Us Off Guard
History's greatest monsters were, on a personal level, shockingly normal.
The Actual Truth Behind The Guy Who Got Stuck In An ATM
James Portillo walked away from his inadvertent fame with a more positive opinion of internet commenters than anyone who's ever lived.
Computers Won't Take Your Jobs, They're Creating New Ones
How dire is the situation of robots taking our jobs? I took a deep dive into the evidence, and sat down with some experts, to try and figure that out.
ISIS's New Strategy Is Stupid Yet Amazingly Effective
Ever since 9/11, the whole world has sort of cringed in anticipation of the next 9/11-scale attack. Turns out we're scared of the wrong thing.
There Is A Dark Secret In Trump's Emails To Supporters
Look, America, I don't really know the best way to say this ... I have evidence that suggests our President may be an alcoholic.
Here's The Trump News We Should Actually Be Talking About
The tragedy is that every one of these garbage stories has something real and ugly at its core, but all that stuff is getting buried under sensational B.S.
Let's Shine Some Light On The B.S. You Believe About Russia
It's fun to spend a few minutes every day in a fantasy world where Donald Trump is hours away from impeachment, but a fantasy world is all that is.
Behind Every War News Story Is A 20-Something College Kid
If you've seen any news reports from Vice, The New York Times, or National Geographic about the fighting against ISIS, you might imagine the work is largely due to the brave actions of a few hard-bitten square-jawed war correspondents.
Black Market Hormones & More Tales From The Trans Dark Ages
It's not exactly easy to be a transgender person in 2017.
I Was a Sex Slave in the Modern U.S.
Slavery is something you'd hope the U.S. had already done a pretty complete job of stomping out.
Murdered Sex Dolls & Porn Suitcases: What Garbagemen See
No one knows you the way your garbageman knows you.
Inside The Secret Epidemic Of Cops Shooting Dogs
In the U.S., police shoot at dogs more often than they shoot at anything else.
Rape, Pee Funnels and The Dolphin: Female Soldiers Speak Up
It's hard to be a soldier: that's part of the point of military service.
What You Don't Know About The Opiate Epidemic
On this episode of Cracked Gets Personal, Robert Evans and Brandon Johnson talk to three former pain pill addicts.
What Emergency Medical Workers Want You To Know
Over the last four years I've asked thousands of people from around the world about the absolute craziest shit that has ever happened to them.
Behind Every War News Story Is A 20-Something College Kid
If you've seen any news reports from Vice, The New York Times, or National Geographic about the fighting against ISIS, you might imagine the work is largely due to the brave actions of a few hard-bitten square-jawed war correspondents.
My Job Was Killing People: 3 Soldiers Tell Us Everything
What is it like to kill a person?
Black Market Hormones & More Tales From The Trans Dark Ages
It's not exactly easy to be a transgender person in 2017.
I Was a Sex Slave in the Modern U.S.
Slavery is something you'd hope the U.S. had already done a pretty complete job of stomping out.
Murdered Sex Dolls & Porn Suitcases: What Garbagemen See
No one knows you the way your garbageman knows you.
Inside The Secret Epidemic Of Cops Shooting Dogs
In the U.S., police shoot at dogs more often than they shoot at anything else.
Rape, Pee Funnels and The Dolphin: Female Soldiers Speak Up
It's hard to be a soldier: that's part of the point of military service.
What Emergency Medical Workers Want You To Know
Over the last four years I've asked thousands of people from around the world about the absolute craziest shit that has ever happened to them.
What You Don't Know About The Opiate Epidemic
On this episode of Cracked Gets Personal, Robert Evans and Brandon Johnson talk to three former pain pill addicts.
Behind Every War News Story Is A 20-Something College Kid
If you've seen any news reports from Vice, The New York Times, or National Geographic about the fighting against ISIS, you might imagine the work is largely due to the brave actions of a few hard-bitten square-jawed war correspondents.
My Job Was Killing People: 3 Soldiers Tell Us Everything
What is it like to kill a person?
Black Market Hormones & More Tales From The Trans Dark Ages
It's not exactly easy to be a transgender person in 2017.
I Was a Sex Slave in the Modern U.S.
Slavery is something you'd hope the U.S. had already done a pretty complete job of stomping out.
Murdered Sex Dolls & Porn Suitcases: What Garbagemen See
No one knows you the way your garbageman knows you.
Inside The Secret Epidemic Of Cops Shooting Dogs
In the U.S., police shoot at dogs more often than they shoot at anything else.
Rape, Pee Funnels and The Dolphin: Female Soldiers Speak Up
It's hard to be a soldier: that's part of the point of military service.
What Emergency Medical Workers Want You To Know
Over the last four years I've asked thousands of people from around the world about the absolute craziest shit that has ever happened to them.
What You Don't Know About The Opiate Epidemic
On this episode of Cracked Gets Personal, Robert Evans and Brandon Johnson talk to three former pain pill addicts.
