Poland Just Did What Hundreds of Class Presidents Couldn’t

The craven liars of class presidential races make real politicians look like absolute saints. We’re all familiar with their casual, populist lies, knowing full well they’ll never come to fruition. They don’t even have the excuse of over-powerful lobbyists, or pleasing donors. No, they simply stride onto the gymnasium floor and lie to us whole cloth. Not only did we never receive soda from our water fountains, but I now know as an adult the chaos that would wreak on the entire school’s plumbing system. Better tasting cafeteria food? Really, Tanner? You think you have the juice to alter school infrastructure, especially in a public school? You’d be lucky to convince them to give us free access to salt and pepper.

But in the empty air left by these charlatan’s proclamations, the government of Poland has come through for their children. Specifically, on the greatest false hope of all: No more homework. 

My god, I’ve never been more jealous of a younger generation. Do you know how many monsters I could have been ranching on my PlayStation without all those worksheets! And yet, according to ABC News at least, from first to third grade, required homework in Poland is banned. From grades four to eight, optional homework can be given, but isn’t allowed to count toward students’ grades. 

Up to EIGHTH grade? Imagine that freedom. If Poland has 7-Elevens, they are going to become sovereign nations of middle schoolers every afternoon.

It would be easy to grow resentful and angry of this young, Polish generation. To call them lazy freeloaders, drunk off early evening sun. Instead, I choose to celebrate their access to the freedom I once craved. Should I ever get access to both a time machine and a location machine (which I suppose is just a plane), maybe I’ll send my young self to Poland circa 2024 to enjoy this blessing. 

For now, though, I’m happy for them. They should enjoy it while it lasts, anyways, since once they reach working age, they’ll realize adult life is mostly homework, anyways. It’s just that instead of multiplication tables, it’s doing dishes.