The Santa Cruz Police Department has officially warned parents to keep their kids away from a creep wandering around in a filthy Cookie Monster costume, because he just might be Adam Sandler.
Fans of the Saturday Night Live and Uncut Gems star, take a breath — it’s not that Adam Sandler. Though the police department for the major California city is sounding the alarm over Sandler’s “history of unpredictable comments and troublesome behavior,” they are not, in fact, referring to The Sandman’s sophomoric Donkey Kong jokes in Pixels or his decision to dress up in drag and make fart noises in Jack and Jill.
An unhinged man named Adam Sandler who has no relation to the Hustle star and Gotham Award-winner, has apparently been antagonizing families across the country while wearing a dirty, disturbingly off-brand Cookie Monster costume. Happy Madison just scrapped its latest screenplay.
Since there is currently no warrant out for either Adam Sandler’s arrest, it’s unlikely that SCPD will post a follow-up that will satisfy our curiosity about the not-Emmy-nomnomnominated Sandler’s mysterious past or unclear motives. We’re simply left with the advice that, if anyone in Santa Cruz sees a dirty, erratic Cookie Monster cruising around in a windowless van, they and their children should steer clear — we don’t know what Adam Sandler is capable of.
That said, if any California residents come across a man named Rob Schneider who’s dressed in yellowface and shouting crazy bullshit about vaccines, don’t worry — it’s just the comedian.