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thelastmonte Louisiana
Real Name: Monte Richard
Member Since: April 15th, 2011
About Me:
BLOG: Sometimes I write about odd stuff that cracked won't publish. Sometimes I put up the full articles before the editors cut them down to size. Sometimes I just try to piss people off. (http://thelastmonte.wordpress.com)
CRAPTIONS: And lastly you can find me in the Craptions forums regularly where I judge and make smartass remarks. (http://www.cracked.com/forums/forum/craption-contest)
There's not much else to say really, except perhaps:
I'm a ninja for hire
An ice cube on fire
A soothsayer and liar
Deceitful, dashing and dire
A menacing muse muddling meanings in the mire
My mind tumbles around like a cat in a dryer
When its down to the wire I get lit like a pyre
Kicking hobbits out the shire
In jet black attire like a cocaine supplier
Cuz I aspire to acquire your ire
And all you sucker MCs can call me sire...
I am also available for freelance work depending upon how pretty you are.
Number Of Articles: 36
5 Mysteries About the Human Race That Science Can't Explain
We've nailed a whole lot down, sure, but there are some shockingly simple questions we don't have very solid answers to yet.
The 6 Stealthiest Disguises in the Animal Kingdom
Luckily, there are no terrible spiders that look exactly like computer mice. Or...are there?
5 Terrifying Festivals You Won't Believe Are Legal
If you want a real party, a party so awesome, it stops being awesome and starts being more like a violent, bloody war on the concept of fun, well, friend, look no further.
6 Animals That Look Like They're Dressed Up for Halloween
Truly, Halloween is a magical day. Which is why some animals choose to celebrate it 24/7.
5 Modern Day Beastmasters Who You Won't Believe Aren't Dead
WARNING: DO NOT TRY ANY OF THIS YOURSELF.
5 Disturbing Ways Insects Can 'Hack' Nature
At this very instant they're out there, cracking the most primeval codes in existence.
8 Animals That Are Just Lazy Combinations of Other Animals
It turns out nature gets off on haphazardly stapling DNA together and calling it a day.
5 Insane Sci-Fi Weapons That Now Exist in Reality
There are two kinds of scientists in this world -- those whose discoveries will lead the planet into a new era of enlightenment, and those whose research will inevitably be stolen by terrorists who enjoy dressing up as snakes. This article is dedicated to this second group.
5 Bizarre Factors That Secretly Influence Your Opinions
In many ways, our opinions define us. And yet, every single day, scores of weird and seemingly insignificant things are twisting our preferences.
