Millions of workers know what it's like to have their job outsourced to another country. What would be worse than that? Hearing that your job is now being done by an animal.

Apparently, real longevity indicators are things you probably wouldn't guess in a hundred years (even if you managed to live that long).

Fortunately for the people who go their entire lives without ever discovering the difference between a 'practical joke' and 'randomly harming other people just because,' an entire industry has emerged to help them.