In some ways, pirates were bizarrely ahead of the societal curve. In fact, some of their viewpoints would be heartily endorsed by the campus newspaper of a liberal arts college.

It turns out some fads have poisoned thousands, started wars, and enslaved entire nations, all for the sake of some dumbass thing people wanted to ride, wear, or eat.

None of what you're about to read necessarily detracts from any of the great things they accomplished -- we're not saying that. We're just saying that behind closed doors, they liked to get freaky.

We've really botched some history in the name of so-so television.