33 of the Funniest Things People Discovered About Their Families

Every family has anecdotes that weave together a portrait of its members better than a family tree ever could. The anecdotes aren’t always about the family itself, but the bits of lore certainly give insight into what kinds of cool people and jackasses you’re related to. Sometimes that lore is “Elvis chauffeured my grandfather in a tank”; other times it’s, “My dad and his friends pretended to be the Pope’s bodyguards.” 

Redditors have spilled the coolest and funniest legacies they’ve learned about their relatives, including one guy’s great great grandfather who had incredibly cursed energy, and there are more than a few people here that I’d love to be related to.

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stefaniied e 1y ago Edited 1y ago (Québec-Canada-France) specialist My first ancestors from France thought it would be real funny to have 18 children in a small village so that these 18 children could marry into the other 3-4 families of the village. They thought it would be funny if they could appear 10 different times in my tree, on both my mom & dad's side. Find another hobby René & Marguerite. 17 Reply ...

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SilasMarner77 1y ago My great-great grandfather was like a bad luck charm for prominent men of the 19th century. Не shared snuff on board ship with Louis-Napoléon shortly before he journeyed to Africa where the young prince was killed by Zulus. Не chatted with General Gordon shortly before he embarked on his fateful voyage to Sudan. And he met the patriot Felice Orsini not long before he was guillotined. 24 Reply ...

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rlrguy 13y ago Dont know if anyone will read this, but hell why not. I was always amazed by the story my dad told me of his grandpa, my great- grandpa. Не was a rural farmer in Korea, and farmed the land up until he was 92. Не was old school farming, no machines or anything fancy. Just some tools, animals, and his bare hands. Не retired at 93 and my dad said he remembers the night where my great-grandpa, showered, shaved, dressed up in his favorite non-sleeping clothes, and went to bed. Не passed away that night, peacefully in

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IhatetheBentPyramid . 1y ago AUS One of my seventeenth century ancestors was a known eccentric who walked his pet goat around Oxford on a leash, and decorated his long white beard with silver for holidays. 28 Reply ...

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Mor_Tearach 1y ago Grandfather swiped a train. An actual train. Drove it just from one stop to the next. Something about  Sure I could  Nah you can't  , , buddies and possibly a bet with $ on the line. AND he was apparently genuinely astonished anyone got all upset about it. You'd have to have known him. 27 Reply ...

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mrszubris o 1y ago My aunt Mattie shot her brothers ear off. On purpose. 17 Reply ...

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[deleted] 1y ago I don't know if funny covers it, but... My grandpa got a (WW2) German officer black out drunk, put him in a burlap bag, and threw him into the river. Imagine his face when he saw the officer walking about the next day. Thankfully the officer didn't remember who put him in the bag, and nobody denounced Grandpa. 19 Reply ...

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davidbowlie 13y ago a couple of days before my grandpa was supposed to ship out for world war II, my grandma (living in st louis at the time) called my grandpa to tell him she thought she was pregnant. they wanted to get married before he left but since he was in michigan, she wouldn't be able to get to him in time. that's when my grandpa took a hammer to his hand and broke a couple of fingers. they got married shortly after and later he was sent to war. turns out she wasn't pregnant, but when he got

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Hows_the_wifi 13y ago My grandmother will tell anyone that we can trace our lineage to black beard the pirate. What that means to me (and she has not realized yet) is that that means our ancestors were prostitutes. 69 ...

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apostrotastrophe 13y ago My British grandpa came to Canada right after WWII ended, met my grandma within a few weeks of arriving, and they fell head over heels for each other. Не brought her back to England to meet his (very poor) family. They sat down to dinner, she took a roll and proceeded to slather butter on it. Taking a bite and looking up, she saw every face around the table gawking at her... it turned out that they were still on rations and she had just taken the entire week's worth of butter. 96 ...

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PraiseBuddha 13y ago My great grandmother was unable to conceive, and in rural Mexico, if you have no kids, you've got no retirement plan. It may still be this way. Anyway, we were all told that some of her sisters gave her children so that they didn't have to be childless anymore. Turns out great grandpa made a deal to get them all pregnant and take the baby when it was born.

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[deleted] e 13y ago My Grandfather moved to the US from Germany a while ago, but much after WWII. Не joined the military for a while, and was stationed back in Friedberg, Germany. One night, he hung out with members of a tank division, played cards, and got along well with one of them. The next day, the driver of a tank offered to drive my Grandpa to where he needed to go (in the tank). This man's name was Elvis Presley. Yeah, Elvis chauffeured my grandpa in a tank. When I asked him to share more, he said Asshole

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ShutUpIAmDreaming 14y ago My mom and grandma were in the same jail at the same time on completely different and unrelated charges. 2 ...

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Mischeese 3то ago My Nan's male 'best friend' was in fact my Grandfather. And she moved countries in the 1970s to live in a throuple and she was in her 60s. Explained a LOT quite honestly 58 Reply ...

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janobe . 3mo ago My mother in law gave me my husband's birth certificate. They were a Filipino family in Texas during the 70s/80s. The birth certificate says they were Mongolian. My MIL was surprised when I pointed it out to her. I guess she didn't look closely at it. Reveals a tale of being Asian in Texas 4 decades ago. 25 Reply ...

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Gratefulgirl13 . 3mo ago I had a great aunt who was murdered (poisoned) by her husband. Her cause of death was ruled unknown but he skipped town immediately after her death. Her sister was certain she was murdered but nobody would listen to her. The husband turned up in a nearby town when he made the papers for poisoning his second wife. Не was charged for her murder. 12 Reply ...

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Say_La_V . 13y ago My dad proposed to my mom before they ever kissed, held hands, or even discussed liking each other... They worked together and he just showed up at her house with a cabbage and proposed. She said yes. I was conceived a month later. I'm 27 and they're still together. 150 ...

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patchpuppe 2y ago i discovered that, in his youth, my great grandfather was a bank-robber! this was a particularly shocking discovery because those who remember him always described him as a a very gentle, calm man-not exactly the type to be exploding safes xD 46 Reply ...

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mwisconsin 1y ago My wife's 3x great grandparents were married by then Justice of the Peace Abraham Lincoln. They were married on the day and in the same county, where Joseph Smith died in prison. Being well-known anti-Mormons at the time, they fled across state lines on that day and moved to lowa. 7 Reply ...

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Other-Programmer-568 2y ago Several of my ancestors immigrated from Italy and became involved in the Mafia during Prohibition. I have found newspaper articles and court records where they were arrested and charged with possession of alcohol. 30 Reply ...

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Damn_Canadian 1y ago My great great grandfather was one of the first Westerners in Japan when they opened up to the west. Не accidentally had a baby with a geisha that he adopted and raised with his wife. For years everyone thought it was the baby that he had with his wife but we only recently discovered the truth. 14 Reply ...

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Kaladin_Stormblessed 12y ago Dad: What are you watching? Me: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Dad: What the fuck are these two guys DOING? Me: They're high on mescaline, Dad. Dad: (Considers this for a moment with a thoughtful expression, then shrugs and says:) I never acted like that when I was on mescaline. (Turns, walks out of room while I stare after him with a shocked expression.) 53 ...

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wjoe . 12y ago My dad's claim to fame is that he once sold drugs to Ozzy Osbourne. 562 ...

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notinsipid 12y ago When my mother was a teenager she wrote a weekly letter to the Chancellor advising him on economic policy and he wrote back every time thanking her, so she carried on when he became prime minister, only then it wasn't just economic policy, she started telling him what he should do on foreign policy and social policy too. I don't know if he ever took her advice 505 ...

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[deleted] e 12y ago . Edited 12y ago My dad is a soft-spoken, balding, slightly overweight, awkward computer geek with Buddy Holly glasses. I was totally shocked when I found out that he was the king of his high school: he was captain of the basketball team (no small feat for a short Asian guy), valedictorian of his graduating class, did the cover art for his school's yearbook, and rode a motorcycle. Не also rocked thick, luscious, shoulder-length hair until he graduated university.

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JoanCrawford 12y ago My dad was a state senator back in the '80s, and voted in favor of gay rights and marijuana legalization. I didn't hear about either of those until after I came out to him about 8 years ago. (And to be honest, I had been really nervous about coming out to him - he never seemed all that comfortable around the idea of homosexuality when I was growing up). Go, Dad! 118 ...

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lintacious a 12y ago During prohibition, my grandfather was a pretty serious bootlegger. And also a police officer. 162 ...

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uncle-woody 12y ago As a kid during the Korean War, my dad and his friends would take notes during news radio programs and type up a Junior War Dept newsletter and put it in people's mailboxes to keep them in the know. A gov't man showed up and told my grandma to make them remove War Dept from their newsletter. 295 ...

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MRM_the_Perm 0 12y ago Edited 12y ago My mom worked in a convenience store in the early 70's, I think she was about 17 or 18. It started as a part-time job but then the owners pretty much took off and my mom ended up picking up the slack working as a full time manager. She had worked a 12 hour shift one day all alone when a guy came in with a gun and tried to rob the place. My mom was so tired and frustrated from working all day by herself and started screaming at the guy that

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louwilliam 12y ago A while back I learned that my dad and his friends ran a fake, satirical candidate for the mayor of their city. At the time there was a large anti-Francophone sentiment (this is Canada), so they ran an imagined candidate called Bill Ingual to mock the various hateful people. In a city with a population of about 500 000, they received around 10 000 votes. 82 ...

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tallandlanky 12y ago My dad paid his way through law school by being a smokejumper. My mom paid her way through college by working in distribution for Playboy. My parents are badass. 313 ...

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scnavi 12y ago The only really cool thing I know my dad and his buddies did, when the pope came to Philadelphia when they were in college, they all dressed up in suits and put on walkman earphones and pretended to be the pope's body guards (may have been secret service.) Apparently secret service was freaking out not knowing who these other agents were. 223 ...

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seehkrhlm 1y ago My Great Granddad was guarding his bosses orchard from thieves, and when one happened by and started to make ofd with a bag of fruit, he shot the guy in the butt and detained him until police arrived. It was in the local newspaper 13 Reply ...