Don’t Forget That the Olympics Snubbed Springfield Because of Bart Simpson’s Stand-Up Act

While the world enjoys the pageantry of the 2024 Summer Olympics hosted by the good cheese-eating surrender monkeys of Paris, France, let’s remember that, if the Olympic committee hadn’t won the gold medal for Worst Audience, this year’s mediocre mascot would have nothing on the GOAT Springy.

Hosting the entire international athletic community for the Summer Olympics is possibly the most ambitious and expensive temporary undertaking that a global city can tackle. Preparations for the games take many years, many billions of dollars and many, many, capable, creative and devoted planners, politicians and civil engineers — basically, it’s a project that only Springfield-level cities can handle. 

However, Simpsons fans may be surprised to learn that, despite the many different reasons why the Simpsons’ hometown is as good a fit as Paris or any other host city for the Olympic honor, the International Olympic Committee refused to hold the summer games in Springfield because their embiggened egos couldn’t handle a handful of playfully xenophobic roasts.

In the 1999 episode “The Old Man and the ‘C’ Student,” Springfield narrowly misses out on hosting the Olympics after they allow Bart Simpson to cap off their welcome party for the international delegates with a comedy act that goes over about as well with the IOC as an American figure skater’s routine with the Russian judge:

In the Season 10 classic, Lisa writes a stirring letter to the IOC as part of a school project and successfully convinces the notoriously corrupt international athletics organization to hold its next games in the Simpsons’ hometown — for a time. Upon the arrival of the multinational delegation, Springfield charmed the IOC the way they’ve charmed international audiences since the late 1980s with their song-and-dance, and the Olympics seemed all but theirs.

But for reasons known only to Principal Skinner and the rest of the Springfield welcome wagon, the closer for the presentation was none other than Springfield’s most troublesome iconoclast, Bart Simpson, who individually insulted the front row of judges in a roast comedy set that killed in Springfield but bombed in the international community. Thus, Springfield lost the Olympics, Homer’s contest-winning mascot Springy missed his moment and the town turned on Bart’s comedy antics.

And so, as sports fans across the world eagerly watch the best athletes alive compete for international glory, just know that Paris certainly didn’t earn the honor of hosting the 2024 competition with their comic brilliance — instead, they probably got it by French kissing the IOC’s sensitive asses.