Jesse
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Maybe I lack whimsy. Maybe my brain has been fried from decades of bombardment by absurdist comedy, and society’s value of sarcasm over sincerity. Whatever it is, I hate these jokes with every fiber of my being, and you should too.
15This Hypothetical Drummer Lacks Imagination
15
This Hypothetical Drummer Lacks Imagination
“What did the drummer call his twin daughters? ‘Anna One, Anna Two!’”
14Leo Kearse Says Iranians Are a Monolith
14
Leo Kearse Says Iranians Are a Monolith
“In Iran, everyone’s scared of spiders. But in Iraq no phobia.”
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13This Is Why You Should Only Buy Shoes From Reputed Cobblers and Cordwainers
13
This Is Why You Should Only Buy Shoes From Reputed Cobblers and Cordwainers
“I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.”
12This Is Erasure of Compute Mothers
12
This Is Erasure of Compute Mothers
“What does a baby computer call his father? ‘Data!’”
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11Kev Mud on Traveling for Work
11
Kev Mud on Traveling for Work
“I travel a lot being a comedian. In fact, I’ve spent the last year living out of a suitcase. Which isn’t bad, but my back hurts and my legs stick out the end.”
10Assuming This Bear Still Had Claws, You Would Not Have Time to Deliver Your Precious Little Punchline
10
Assuming This Bear Still Had Claws, You Would Not Have Time to Deliver Your Precious Little Punchline
“What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.”
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9How Can You Trust That Which You Cannot See?
9
How Can You Trust That Which You Cannot See?
“I don’t trust atoms; they make up everything.”
8Attila the Pun’s Mother Sacrificed So Much
8
Attila the Pun’s Mother Sacrificed So Much
“When I was a kid, my mum used to run a dating site for chickens. She did whatever she could to make hens meet.”
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7If Water Is Sentient, We’re Cooked
7
If Water Is Sentient, We’re Cooked
“RIP boiled water. You will be mist.”
6Kev Mud Describes a Horrifying Scene at a Party for Children
6
Kev Mud Describes a Horrifying Scene at a Party for Children
“I was at a kids’ party, and they said, ‘There’s an ice cream man outside.’ But by the time I got out there, he had melted.”
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5May the Swiss Forgive Us for This One
5
May the Swiss Forgive Us for This One
“What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.”
4Attila the Pun’s Act of Selflessness
4
Attila the Pun’s Act of Selflessness
“I’ve just applied for a job as a waiter. Someone has to put food on the table.”
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3Don’t You Understand? That’s What It’s For!
3
Don’t You Understand? That’s What It’s For!
“I’ve decided to sell my Hoover. It was just collecting dust.”
2Leo Kearse’s Wacky Neighbor
2
Leo Kearse’s Wacky Neighbor
“Marvin Gaye kept a sheep in my vineyard. He’d herd it through the grapevine.”
1Okay Fine, This One’s Funny
1
Okay Fine, This One’s Funny
“My girlfriend said, ‘You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.’ ‘Good idea,’ I replied. ‘We can cover more ground that way.’”
