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15 Succinct Jokes That Really Make You Think
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Jesse
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- April 16, 2024
It can be hard to get your gears turning first thing in the morning. Perhaps a piping hot cup of wordplay will do the trick…
15Rita Mae Brown Says Statistically Speaking, You’re the Crazy One
15
Rita Mae Brown Says Statistically Speaking, You’re the Crazy One
“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.”
14Robert Benchley Asks: Who Rescued Whomst?
14
Robert Benchley Asks: Who Rescued Whomst?
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”
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13Oscar Wilde, God-Tier Nudge
13
Oscar Wilde, God-Tier Nudge
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
12Dorothy Parker Says Only the Good Die Poor
12
Dorothy Parker Says Only the Good Die Poor
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.”
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11Quentin Crisp Says Be the Jones You Want to See in the World
11
Quentin Crisp Says Be the Jones You Want to See in the World
“Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.”
10Andy Field on Meal Prep
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Andy Field on Meal Prep
“Planning meals in advance, now that’s some food forethought.”
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9Izzy Mant on the Addictive Nature of Literature
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Izzy Mant on the Addictive Nature of Literature
“They say some people ‘inhale books.’ I know someone who injects books right into his veins. Particularly ones with female protagonists. He’s a heroine addict.”
8Ian Smith on the Only Union-Proof Industry
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Ian Smith on the Only Union-Proof Industry
“I bet there’s never any workers’ strikes at a stress-ball factory.”
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7Andy Field Loves His Friends Unconditionally (Some Conditions Apply)
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Andy Field Loves His Friends Unconditionally (Some Conditions Apply)
“I tell my friends, I’m here for them 24/7 because it sounds better than saying I’m only here for them on the 24th of July.”
6Jake Lambert, Cowboy’s Apprentice
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Jake Lambert, Cowboy’s Apprentice
“A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course. That’s 20 cows.’”
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5Cam Spence’s Hard-Earned Dad Bod
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Cam Spence’s Hard-Earned Dad Bod
“I’m pleased to be getting a beer belly. I’ve always wanted a father figure.”
4Doug Larson Knows Sometimes Your Best Friend Is Your Biggest Detractor
4
Doug Larson Knows Sometimes Your Best Friend Is Your Biggest Detractor
“The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.”
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3Joan Rivers on Fortune’s Locksmith
3
Joan Rivers on Fortune’s Locksmith
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”
2G.K. Chesterton Clearly Has Made an Enemy in His HOA
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G.K. Chesterton Clearly Has Made an Enemy in His HOA
“The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies. Probably because they’re generally the same people.”
1Mark Twain Says Keep Your Broke Friends at Bay
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Mark Twain Says Keep Your Broke Friends at Bay
“The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime — if not asked to lend money.”
