The thing is, though, Matins lasts for about an hour, and that's a bit long to pray. You look at your wife, who's also up (because you didn't marry a sinner). There is a look between you two. Should you, you know, give her a green gown? Play nug-a-nug? Ride below the crupper? Or any other of the 100% real expressions for the ol' horizontal bangarama? All you would have to do is push the kids to the corner of the one bed you all share, and it'd be princum-prancum time (again, 100% a real expression.) But let's think it over first.
You definitely want another kid cause one of the ones you already have got a splinter yesterday, so they're a goner. But it takes sooo long to get your wife to release her seed, or what the folks in the dream world called an "orgasm." And you might be an uneducated serf, but you heard the learned men talk about how in order to conceive, both the man and the woman must climax because a woman is just a mirror version of a man. That's why a vagina is a mirror penis, the ovaries are mirror testicles, and so on. So it would make logical sense that women have some kind of … mirror sperm inside them, meaning that if you want a kid, you better nut up and make her nut before you nut so that the two nuts can combine into a baby.
according to all the men we interviewed.Â
Also, you'd want to be sure it's a boy this time, so you should first pop into the barber in town to remove your left testicle because the left one makes girls and the right one makes boys. Everybody knows that. You could technically take care of that right here and now with your trusty, rusty knife, but … nah, better leave those kinds of delicate medical procedures to the professional. Which, again, would probably be the town barber. So, in the end, you decide to go back to bed for your second sleep.