See, some cephalopods do engage in their own version of "rough sex" and it's as terrifying as the term "rough cephalopod sex" implies. Giant squids still largely remain a mystery to us, but from the few specimens we did study, we determined that "Nope, hentai is still weird," and that male giant squids are giant dicks. Sorry, we meant to say "have giant dicks" but, then again, the first version still make sense.Â
Giant squids evolved penises about 3 feet long, and when they use them to mate, they literally attack the female, using either their beaks or the hooks on their tentacles to first rip and slash open their partner's skin. Then, they stick their penis inside the wound and inject sperm packets into it "at high pressure," not unlike a flesh syringe at a fertility clinic designed by Tim Burton. Again, we are just so very sorry.
It's not exactly clear what happens next as the sperm injection sometimes isn't anywhere close to where the eggs come out. Some scientists speculate that the sperm deposits will normally continue to burrow themselves deep into the female squid's flesh until they reach a place where they can fertilize the eggs just as they come out... Just so incredibly sorry, though it might explain why scientists call these squid dongs "terminal organs."
Here's an additional, fun-sized fact about the male giant squid's brutal mating habits, with an emphasis on "fun-sized." While it's true that these creatures' nightmarish penis pumps are about 3 feet in length, you also have to remember that the squids themselves can grow up to 70-feet-long. On a 6-foot-tall human, that same body to penis size ratio would result in a dong about 3.5 inches long. And if that fact made you feel better about yourself, then you have issues that only a therapist behind bulletproof glass can fix.