5 Ways Modern Life's Causing Our Bodies To Fall Apart

We generally assume that you can only damage your hearing in places like concerts or construction sites, but gyms, restaurants, traffic, and other daily environments can easily crack that 85-decibel mark. Even phones, when cranked to their maximum volume, can blast out 100 ear-annihilating decibels (a typical nightclub hits 110), so watch your bedtime YouTube consumption.

Hearing naturally declines with age, although that decline is, well, declining. It's likely because of a drop in those grip-strengthening manufacturing jobs, as well as healthier habits like less smoking and more use of ear protection. But there is a concern that modern urban design is failing to factor in the hubbub of daily life, and that the average person, unaware of the seriousness of the problem, isn't taking steps to protect their ears.

The World Health Organization even considers hearing loss an "underestimated threat," as if our long-neglected Matchbox 20 albums are going to sneak up and deafen us in our sleep. So be the nerd who wears earplugs at a concert. You'll thank us when you're 65 and can still understand what the fuck people are saying to you. Or can at least still hear them, anyway.

The logic behind the "hygiene hypothesis" was that kids need exposure to dust, dirt, bacteria, viruses, and other crap so that their bodies will learn how to react accordingly. If that training is absent, the body will go into red alert whenever it encounters harmless dust particles because it thinks they're a murderous plague. This still seems to hold true for allergies, but asthma rates are also climbing in developing countries and what we'll diplomatically call the less-hygiene-focused parts of America, and researchers are stumped as to why.

CDCFor example, if you've got a theory why clear-skied Alaska is worse than "Smog clouds are the state bird" New Jersey, we're all ears.

So far the main conclusion has been "Well shit, asthma seems way more complicated than we thought," but the usual health suspects like obesity and sedentary living are possible causes, given that they affect lung strength. Researchers are also trying to tweak the hygiene hypothesis to focus on specific kinds of bacteria. Children who grew up on farms, handled livestock, and drank raw milk are basically immune to asthma and allergies, presumably because they have different strains of bacteria kicking around their airways. So there's another reason raw milk enthusiasts are going to lecture you.

Scientists are trying to pin down a more definitive explanation for why modern life seems to have messed with our immune systems. In the meantime, we guess it wouldn't hurt to try cuddling a bunch of pigs.

There's also the growing problem of eye strain, which doesn't cause long-term damage, but does produce constant pain and irritation. You can probably guess the obvious contemporary cause there. Screens are tough on our eyes, and we're all spending all day squinting at them instead of frolicking through the great outdoors. The average adult has nine goddamn hours of screen time a day, and should therefore be taking regular breaks to relieve strain. Every 20 minutes you should take at least 20 seconds to look at an object that's at least 20 feet away, like a weird bird or an attractive co-worker. You should also tone down your brightness settings, use apps that soften your monitor's glow at night, and sit a little further away from the computer. You should also call your mom more. That's not eye-related; she just worries about you.

Finally, remember to get an eye exam once every two years, because much like how there might be no obvious sign of a tumor forming in your brain at this very moment, common eye problems like glaucoma can bubble up beneath the surface without displaying a single symptom, right up until your vision goes to shit. We're probably not going to be able to stop the coming myopiapocalypse, but at least we can be as smart about it as all of our glasses will imply.

But the effects are worse than irritating whoever shares your bed, as sleep apnea is linked to an increased risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, stroke, depression, and general early death. It's also linked to sheer exhaustion, so if you stumble through your days feeling like you only got a couple hours of sleep last night, in a way, you kind of did. Choking and gasping your way through the night, even if you're not aware that you're doing it, isn't as restful as spending eight calm hours dreaming that you once again won the Sex Olympics.

Some of the increase can be attributed to better awareness and diagnosis, but the main cause, like with so many other modern health issues, is almost certainly increased obesity rates. Even kids, who are getting fatter by the year, are suffering from apnea. We're ruining our sleep in other, non-donut-related ways too -- screen time before bed also disrupts sleep. See how all of the elements of modern life are coming together to screw you?

Having millions of exhausted Americans stumble around is not good for the country. Apnea spikes are linked to an increase in traffic accidents because everyone is just plain tired. But the good news is that apnea, once spotted, can be effectively treated without the need for you to do anything drastic like "losing weight" or "examining your lifestyle." So if you're struggling to sleep through the night, don't hesitate to talk to a doctor, if only so you don't accidentally run us off the road one day.

Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book that you can read while exercising.

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