36 of the Funniest Reasons People Decided Not to Date Someone

One of the best parts of Seinfeld is the many petty reasons the core four used to end a relationship with an unsuspecting, mildly annoying significant other. Staring into space on the plane? Dumped! Big hands? Dumped! Bald? Dumped! 

In that Seinfeldian spirit, Redditors have shared the pettiest, most hilarious reasons they’ve declined another date with someone else. If you have tiny nostrils, sorry in advance.