33 Random Bits of Trivia You’ll Have to Chug in the Security Line

33 Random Bits of Trivia You’ll Have to Chug in the Security Line

Roy Wood Jr. Walks Back Jokes About Don Lemon

Roy Wood Jr. Walks Back Jokes About Don Lemon

29 Random Bits of Trivia That Were Stolen by a Sweet Old Lady in a Motorized Cart

29 Random Bits of Trivia That Were Stolen by a Sweet Old Lady in a Motorized Cart

The 5 Best Dramatic Monologues in ‘Seinfeld’ History

The 5 Best Dramatic Monologues in ‘Seinfeld’ History

35 of the Funniest Random Celebrity Encounters

35 of the Funniest Random Celebrity Encounters

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes

Hey, friend. How's that New Year's resolution going? Wait, sorry, dumb question. You're doing it the John Cheese way and enjoying your new, improved life. Non-dumb question, though: Why is the new you kicking around in the old you's clothes? You're an updated classic, and you deserve to wear an updated classic ...

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Our New Shirt! In Two New Colors!

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes

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Reaction Comics No. 1 comes to us from Andy Hunt, who's also responsible for our Night Walkers shirt. It mashes up the reckless superdick of Siegel/Shuster with the pro-automobile patriotism of Bay/Ford, giving that Kryptonian in tights his comeuppance for smashing a classic American car. We're also proud to offer this shirt in two different colors, because this is America and we believe in choices, provided those choices aren't very creative.

And if you're thinking, "Big deal, Crackle, I could make a better shirt than that," then we encourage you to do exactly that in our monthly T-shirt design contest! Also, get your insults together, man. Poor Crackle doesn't deserve your abuse.

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21 Bafflingly Bizarre Dumb Tough Guy Shirts

Our New Contest!

We want you to come up with a funny shirt for any geographic location on Earth. Everybody hearts New York already. So we want a shirt for folks who heart Poughkeepsie (bad example), or sweat Death Valley (worse example), or dig the Marianas Trench (THIS IS WHY WE NEED YOUR IDEAS).

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You've got until Friday at 4 p.m. PST to impress us into paying you. And don't let your graphic design-based insecurities stop you: If an idea's funny enough, we'll work with you to make it as torso-ready as ...

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A New York Yankee Fought An Ostrich In An Eating Contest

Our Weekly Dose of Shirt Envy

At its best, the Internet is a Superman family of amiable do-gooders, clever as Lois Lane and cute as Lana Lang (man, DC has some dumb names). So check out these T-shirts from the Jimmy Olsens (ugh) of today, fresh off the presses and ready for your 2014 wardrobe:

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes
Available from Busted Tees

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes
Available from Uneetee

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes
Available from Threadless

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes
Available from Design by Humans

Store Update: Don't Spend the New Year in Old Clothes
Available from Shirtoid

Always on the go but can't get enough of those sweet, sweet dick jokes? We have an Android app and iOS reader for you to pick from so you never miss another article.

Are you a fan of money, everlasting glory, but really just money? We want to give you that! (Particularly the money part.) Enter as many designs as you want into our T-shirt contest and you might just win $500.

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Excuses We'll Make to Keep Our Favorite Shirt [CHART]