The Vatican updated their list of the Seven Deadly Sins yesterday, adding seven new sins of the modern age. These include polluting, genetic engineering, possessing obscene riches, taking drugs, abortion, pedophilia and causing social injustice. I guess this is the Vatican's way of trying to stay relevant in a changing world, although I can't help but note that they remain some distance back from the bleeding edge of sin, given their refusal to condemn
Sharking.
Any time the Catholic Church expands upon one of their cornerstones like it was a game of Pokemon, there's comedic potential. That this publicity stunt already took the form of a list is blissful serendipity for someone who regularly writes for Cracked. It was for these reasons, and also because no-one asked for it, that I now happily provide my thoughts on this revised list of sins:
Polluting: I like this one. This is probably the most relevant thing the Catholic Church has done in the last few years. Whether it makes any difference in the world or not is another thing entirely - Catholics don't wield as much political power as they did back in the good old days. Still, this is a sight more impressive than the Zoroastrians coming out against pollution.