Overall Impression: As long as I maintain my habit of only drinking alcohol poured down the length of a Corinthian leather chaise lounge, I think I’m in the clear.
How Much It Makes Me Want To Live in L.A.: Somewhat. I don’t care for flying cars, but I love brass, and this lady’s got it in spades.
THE HEADLINE: Los Angeles Police Shut Down Airport Roads Due To Bomb Threat
The Gist: LAX got shut down when a man claimed to have explosives on his body, and police brought in a robot to inspect his bags, which turned out to be the exact opposite of explosives. Which is to say, they violently imploded.
What Can We Learn? Robots love bombs.
Overall Impression: The LAPD, despite their reputation, are calm, clear-headed individuals out to make everyone safer, even crazy guys at airports. In fact, I bet after the beating was over, they all had a big laugh and bought the guy a drink.
How Much It Makes Me Want To Live in L.A.: Neutral. Robots are awesome, but for all I know the only one they had just imploded.
THE HEADLINE: Police Officer Sues LAPD And Los Angeles, Alleging Religious Discrimination
The Gist: An LAPD Sergeant and off-time pastor
is suing the police department for discriminating against him due to remarks he made at a fallen officer’s eulogy regarding the “sinfulness of homosexuality” and the “lake of fire to which gays are condemned.”