Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly Actually Same Person?!

First of all, kudos to the marketing wizard who came up with the headline to this article: "Study Reveals Daily Show a Lot Like O’Reilly." I can’t think of a headline better formulated to pull in the surfing 18-35 year old liberal male, except possibly "Cast of Saved By The Bell Reunites For Halo Tournament Against World’s Largest Tits." What does this mean, grabby headline? Has Stewart betrayed his loyal fanbase and become a frothing Conservative man-baby with a bad combover? Has O’Reilly pulled a reverse-Dennis Miller and become suddenly, inexplicably reasonable? Have you ever actually seen The Daily Show? You get that they’re jokes, right? And that that other asshole's serious? Before you start freaking out and replacing the picture of Stewart over your mantle with one of Colbert, know that this intensive “journalism think tank” consisted of a bunch of guys watching a year’s worth of Daily Show episodes and concluding that they have the following things in common:

Both men appear on a TV show up to five times a week.

Both discuss topics one could define as “political.”

Both wear pants while doing so.

And even the last one is unverifiable. Frankly, the news to me here is that there are think tanks that involve watching a year’s worth of

Daily Show episodes. Of course I originally assumed that by “think tank,” they meant Jerry and Ryan, the interns who agreed to stay late and know how to use bittorrent. But NO. This study was performed by none other than the Project for Excellence in Journalism. They’re based in Washington, too, so you know they’re legit. And gentlemen, if I may address you directly: I want in. What are my qualifications? Well, right now I get paid to read about celebrities I hate and come up with witty things to say about their genitals. As such, I’m already vastly overqualified for your project. Especially with your director throwing out nuggets of insight like “ The Daily Show makes serious political commentary, but they use humor to do it.” And my personal favorite “They're not making jokes about Dan Quayle is dumb or Gerald Ford is clumsy.” Really? Because I’m pretty sure the April 18th, 2008 episode was centered largely around footage of Ford missing a golf swing and comically falling onto the green. Plus, didn’t last night’s "Back in Black" have a bit about Quayle’s 1988 White House bid? He yelled about it, I think. My point is, pay me to watch The Daily Show, you out-of-touch cocks.

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When not blogging for Cracked, Michael upholds the credo of the Project for Excellence in Journalism with zealous ferocity as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!