I smiled, lost in the brilliance and eloquence of my proposal.
“Dan, I gotta be honest … I can’t give you any of this.”
“Why the hell not?” If I hadn’t already swiped his wallet, you can bet your ass I’d have been swipin’ it then. Swipin’ it like a motherfucker.
“Well, gosh, Dan, so many reasons. We don’t have this kind of budget, for one thing. A good portion of the items on this list aren’t real, and uhh, some of these things, I just wouldn’t feel
right signing off on, morally, you understand. I might actually have to fire you, you know that, right?”
“No, no I
don’t know that, Jack Fu. All I know is that this SXSW nerd bullshit is gonna be
huge. All I know is that I’m sitting on the article of the century over here and all you can do is piss on my face.”
“Well, I don’t really think that’s what I’m doing, but alright. I’m not going to sign off on this. Can you please get out of my house now?”
“Biggest mistake of your life, pal,” I said as I headed for his refrigerator. “All you do is piss. Piss, piss piss. You are a coward.”
“I’m calling the police.”
***
Had
A-Jack of the Clones not been such a raging coward, I’d be sitting pretty in Texas right now, soaring over a bunch of understandably impressed bloggers in my Cracked.com Jet Pack. But that isn’t the case. I
wasn’t there and, surprise surprise, something huge happened. Had I been there, I’d be able to give you fine readers first-hand accounts of one of the most talked about Facebook-related controversies of the new millennium.
Apparently, Sarah Lacy, the woman who, for no discernible reason, was tasked with interviewing youngest billionaire on the planet and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, did