“put bones in the ground” guy—but I think it’d be a swell ID4 party game to try and make some broad conclusions based on the finds already uncovered. Then while those egghead historians are taking years to fully understand the implications of a scrap of rotted parchment, we’ll have a fully formed vision of lil’ George to inspire us towards an even deeper disappointment towards our own kids.
What They Found: That the house was a large one-an-a-half story home, rather than the rustic cottage previously thought.
What It Means: Thousands of poor kids across the nation can finally stop imagining that anyone but their rich, spoiled counterparts have a shot at the history books and get back to making my fries.
What They Found: Pieces of the painted walls and ceiling that had fallen into the basement.
What It Means: Washington was an unruly child, constantly painting on the walls and even the ceiling, prompting his mother to hide the walls and ceiling in the basement when company came over.
What They Found: A chimney flue with the symbol of the Masonic Lodge engraved on it.
What It Means: I’m not allowed to tell you, but I can say this: the crow flies at midnight.
What They Found: A cache of wine bottles, knives, forks, and small figurines.