Hotties, Notties, and a Bunch of People With Mouths for Eyes: The Friday Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The Day The Hottie and the Nottie On a first viewing you might be thinking to yourself, “Dear God - this looks like the worst movie of all time,” or maybe “This is what’s wrong with America,” but you know what? I think The Hottie and the Nottie is going to turn out to be one of the great love stories of our time. Basic plot: A guy wants to hook up with a “hot” chick (played by world-renowned sex-haver Paris Hilton) but first he needs to find a mate for her “ugly” friend (played by the unbelievably hideous Christine Lakin). Hilarity ensues, I’m sure, but you know what else probably happens? I would bet you guys money that at some point in this movie the guy learns that beauty is only skin deep, decides that the “hot” chick (Paris Hilton) is actually kind of a bitch, and then realizes in the last 30 minutes that he’s fallen hopelessly in love with the “ugly” chick. I know it sounds completely fucking insane, but I bet that’s what happens in this movie. With unexpected plot twists like those, I think this could easily be the sleeper hit of 2008. You know - because you wouldn’t think that the main character would hook up with an “ugly” chick, but then he does and it’s crazy because you totally figured he’d end up with the “hot” chick. Oh, and it also has Paris Hilton in it, who everyone has seen have actual, real-life sexual intercourse. That can’t hurt either.

(Yet Another) Wildcard Week!!! "Strange Mouth Eye Pics" These pictures are totally safe for work but I still feel like I’m doing something horribly wrong when I look at them. I’m not even at work right now, actually, but I still feel like I’m going to get in trouble for some reason. Not even like "Oh no, my boss saw me looking at weird shit on the internet!" but more like "I'm pretty sure the cops will be here any minute." I know all I’m doing is looking at a photo gallery of people with mouths photoshopped over their eyes in the privacy of my own home, but I still feel like I’m doing something totally illegal. I don’t know what the people who made these were trying to do here, but if their goal was to make me feel really uncomfortable and vaguely criminal, they seem to have achieved their goal.