Everybody loves a good pickup line! What could be more appealing than a pun, dripping with desperation, wrapped in irony and whispered in your ear?
“If we went on a date, I’d eat mothballs before I picked you up, because I know you’d be giving me butterflies in my stomach.”
“Hey miss, sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.”
“What I used to say when I was driving was, when I was stopped at a light and I’d see a good looking lady, I’d beep and when they’d roll their window down I’d say, ‘I’m a little lost. Do you happen to have directions to your heart?’”
“You remind me of a bottle of Snapple, because you’re made from the best stuff on Earth.”
“Can you make like baby Jessica and fall into my hole?”
“I just drop a sugar packet and say, ‘Hey, you dropped your name tag.’ Then I pick up the sugar packet and give it to her.”
“Is your father a thief? No? Then who stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?”
“Damn girl, I wish I were you so I could make love to me.”
“Hey, you want a shot of Fireball? We should totally fuck after this.”
“Relax, I’m not trying to hit on you. I’m trying to fuck you.”
“I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?”
“I’m a little out of shape, but there’s still pleasure to be had from my body.”
“You must be a fan of martial arts because Jean-Claude Van Dammmmmn you’re fine!”
“Damn boy, are you my parents’ approval? Because I’m starving for you.”