Nicolas Cage Chooses His Diet Based On Animals' Mating Habits

Last year's Nic Cage film Pig took a lot of people by surprise. Its premise—a man comes out of retirement and faces off against gangsters to recover his stolen pig—sounds like a sillier version of John Wick, a perfect setup for Nicolas Cage to act wacky. His actual performance was restrained yet emotional, making it one of his best serious roles in years. 

Following the film, people had two questions. One: Would Cage be nominated for an Oscar? And two: Does Cage eat pig meat in real life, as that would seem to violate the deep bond his character had with the fictional pet (who was played by a real pig named Brandy).

The answer to the first question is no, as Oscar nominations depend entirely on which studios campaign the strongest. The answer to the second question is also no, the last time anyone checked. Nic Cage does not eat pork. He eats some meat but not others, not for health or religious reasons but based on his own special criterion: which animals have the best sex. Pigs, says Cage, have dirty sex, making them ill-fit for human consumption. Fish have sex in a respectable manner, as do birds, so Cage eats them both.

His words on the subject were so eloquent that one book of modern poetry made a stanza out of them:

I love all animals
I have a fascination with fish, birds, whales—sentient life—insects, reptiles
I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. 
I think fish are very dignified with sex. 
So are birds. But pigs, not so much. 
So I don't eat pig meat or things like that. 
I eat fish and fowl.

Cage may have stumbled on ancient wisdom. The Old Testament forbids eating pork, and while it lays out reasoning (something about animals with split hooves etc.), people have long suspected there may have been other reasons that some animals were considered cleaner than others. One theory concerns the way pigs breed. Every mammal that was considered clean gives birth to one live young at a time. Pigs, however, give birth to litters of young, and it seems that all other mammals who did the same were judged to be non-kosher. 

This fact came from the One Cracked Fact newsletter. Want more like this, straight from your email inbox, without any ads or popups? Join here:

[newsletter]

Interested in clean vs unclean animals? Check out:

7 Mind-Blowing Ways Jobs Are Being Outsourced to Animals

Noah Did Not Take Just Two Of Each Animal On The Ark

Foie Gras Comes From Jewish Dietary Laws

Top image: Neon