And no, the fact that this meal is called "once" doesn't mean it takes place at 11 pm, which would mean Chileans have dinner at like 5 am. The name comes from the number of letters in "aguardiente," which means "moonshine," because "once" was once (no cross-language homonym pun intended) used as a code word for going off to get wasted without your spouse knowing. But let's go back to an important subject mentioned above ...Â
2
"Palta" Is The Only Acceptable Word For "Avocado"
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A public service announcement: if you own an English-Spanish dictionary that claims the word for "avocado" is "aguacate," throw it away. Burn it. Do not let a single pair of Chilean eyes see that cursed artifact. The word is "PALTA." The palta is Chilean, and therefore Chile dictates what it's called, not those heathens in Mexico. "Aguacate" is a filthy pretender that should never be uttered on Chilean soil.Â
Related: never get a Chilean started on the provenance of pisco. Do anything possible to avoid the subject. Swallow a full palta with the pit and all if you have to. This is the only way to ensure your survival.Â
1
"Wea" Can Mean Just About Anything
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When the rest of Latin America wants to make fun of the way Chileans speak, they simply fill a sentence with like fifteen different variations of the word "wea." This is 100% accurate. "Wea" comes from the word "weon," which is a contracted version of "huevon" -- literally, somebody with large gonads (or "huevos," meaning eggs). Contrary to other countries, this is not a desirable physical trait in Chile, since "weon" means dumb.Â
But "weon" can also mean "friend," or "random person," and "wea" can mean ... anything. If a Chilean points at any given object, from a pencil to a Boeing 747 to the Sistine Chapel, nine times out of ten they will describe it as a "wea." It can be used for abstract concepts, too. To further complicate matters, the verb "wear" or "webiar" can mean to hang out OR to bother someone; "puta la wea" is a common expression of frustration; and "como las weas" ("like the weas") means "very bad." So, here's an average Chilean sentence: "Puta la wea, weon, we were at the wea with that weon, just weando, when he got weon and started to wear some weones, and acting like the weas. That weon is so weon, weon."Â
If, at this point, you haven't been permanently scared away from ever visiting Chile, have fun in this fun and friendly country! But seriously, don't say agu*c*te or they'll shank you.Â
Maxwell Yezpitelok lives in Chile and also on Twitter. Shout out to the r/chile community for invaluable research assistance.Â
Top image: ToNic-Pics/Pixabay, manbob86/Pixabay