Now, there's two things you need to know about Dorsey. The first one is that he definitely did not send his beard hair to chicken-murdering pop witch Azealia Banks so she could make him a protective anti-ISIS charm. He's been very clear about that, no matter what Vanity Fair heard. The second thing is that he's not really, like, about the money, you know? Instead, he's using his time as head of a major social media network to go on a journey of self-discovery.Â
Most recently, he's been experimenting with a new diet where he eats just seven small meals a week (an earlier attempt to fast all weekend, every weekend, apparently resulted in hallucinations). Because when you're rich, it's not a mind-eroding eating disorder, it's biohacking! Seriously, we give it about three weeks before Silicon Valley guys start biohacking tiredness by jamming their hands into toasters. Around two years ago, Dorsey also started taking regular ten-day silent retreats, where he lives in a bare room in some exotic monastery and cuts off all communication with the outside world.Â
To facilitate this, Dorsey has been pushing major decision making off on his subordinates, which is unfortunate at a time when Twitter has been taking major heat over racist and threatening content, only some of it from the actual President of the United States. During one outrage, for instance, Dorsey was incommunicado at a Buddhist monastery in Myanmar -- which then itself caused controversy after it was pointed out that Buddhist monks were leading a genocide in that country at the exact same time. It's not a great look when your company has to respond to complaints with "Sorry, our CEO dressed himself like a necromancer and flew his private jet to starve himself in the Murder Monastery for the week, can we get back to you on Monday?"