Having Plastic Surgery Right Now Feels Like A Horror Premise

With corona, you would think that people would want to avoid hospitals, doctor's offices, and elective surgeries like their lives might literally depend on it. Except, in the bizarro-land of America, as The Toronto Star has reported a large spike in cosmetic procedures during COVID-19. 

There are a few presumed explanations for this surge in nipping and tucking, the least of which is that too many people binged Nip/Tuck during their isolation. Calgary facial surgeon Kristina Zakhary speculates that "the webcam acts as a magnifying mirror" for many people's perceived facial imperfections and also that the "lipstick effect" (that people want a pick-me-up in a difficult time) might be in play. The biggest reason though, might just be that people are stuck at home. According to Zakhary, the worst part of facial surgery is all of the downtime needed for recovery, but since people are already estranged from judgmental eyes, they're taking advantage of not seeing anyone for months on end in order to heal.

It all makes sense on paper, but think about the horror movie scenario that this implies once we emerge from our COVID quarantines. Will everyone around us have enlarged lips and paralyzed faces? Will we be able to recognize our friends anymore? Then factor in how all of the elderly might be dead, and suddenly, it's like a scene out of Zardoz. You remember Zardoz, right, where everyone was kept perpetually young? 

Okay, plus a bunch of other weird stuff happened, and Sean Connery wore the most aggressive of thongs, but mostly here I'm talking about the youth thing. It's terrifying, and I hope to god that if/when this COVID quarantine ends that we won't be peer pressured to get a nose job. Everyone has a hard enough time paying medical bills as it is.

Support Dan on Twitter and he will talk about his life with you in lieu of getting a therapist.

Top Image: Pexels