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"My family moved into a historical house from the 17th century that we were told was an employee "perk." We were to be living in the exhibits."
10 Cracked Posts Everyone Went Nuts Over Last Week 10/25
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Cracked Writers
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- October 25, 2015
This week on Facebook we might have mentioned "Back to the Future" once or twice. Like us, you partied like it was 1989 and loved every minute of it. But even more than that, you were interested in some real life haunts and a hard look at depression.
Daniel Craig may be done after Spectre, but code-name James Bond will live on.
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"The more you look into it, the more it makes sense. George Lazenby's Bond had his wife murdered in the last film he appeared in, so fans could assume that his 007 retired out of grief. Timothy Dalton's Bond went rogue and was kicked out of MI6."
"What they didn't tell us about our new house was that it came with a list of insane rules designed to preserve the illusion that my family and I were currently living under the British crown."
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No one quotes lines from Twister, no one has Twister-watching parties, and no one recalls with fond admiration any of the performances. But it was a monster hit for a lot of reasons.
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"Twister benefited from the Jurassic Park bump, because it involved Steven Spielberg, Michael Crichton, and a metric fuckton of CGI."
Dogs: they originated in Central Asia, and they ended up in our hearts.
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"There's a lot of crazy shit going on in the world, and a lot of folks are quick to say that humanity is in a bad way right now. But is that really accurate?"
No one has ever been poisoned by a crazy Halloween poisoner in the history of ever. Yet some parents are forcing their kids to "trunk-or-treat", an activity that's exactly what it sounds like.
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"Halloween isn't always the beacon of snack-sized Snickers and girls dressed as Kojak with cleavage that it should be. "
Princess Chiomara was violated by a Roman centurion, who later tried to ransom her. During the exchange Chiomara spoke up - then heads rolled.
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"So, at this point, you'd think poor Chio's had enough. That she's been through some 'Nam style war trauma and she's probably ready to get back to her home and family and forget about the whole thing. But you'd be wrong. Head wrong."
In a context other than '80's movie," Doc Brown's friendship with a 17 year old boy is very suspect.
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"Right after the fact that his best friend is a 17-year-old boy, the weirdest mystery surrounding Doc Brown is: What the hell happened to his sweet house? In 1955 he's living in a palatial mansion, but by 1985 he's shacked up in a garage in a Burger King parking lot."
If you want to trick or treat in the real Silent Hill, the hours are midnight to 5AM.
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"The haunted town of Silent Hill, as seen in the series of video games and movies. Population: Abandoned buildings and an ever-present, spooky mist."
'Old Hugh Hefner has lost his mind' - Larry Flynt
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"The news is like a very confusing story written by a novelist who was trying to treat his chronic paranoia with cocaine. "
About 2/3 of people with major depression never seek treatment, and we don't want that to be any of you guys - if you need help please get it.
"Even when you're being treated, you're not always going to be at 100 percent. I have days where I wake up and feel like I'm going to rip life a new Saturday, but on other days I lie in bed for hours because the only thing I think would be worth getting up for is throwing myself in front of a bus made out of swords."
