30 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, May 1, 2024

30 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, May 1, 2024

John Belushi Didn’t Want to Die, Lorne Michaels Warned John Mulaney

John Belushi Didn’t Want to Die, Lorne Michaels Warned John Mulaney

28 of the Wildest Things Seen by People Working in Forensics

28 of the Wildest Things Seen by People Working in Forensics

10 Old Artists Who Were Actually Wildly Successful in Their Lifetime

10 Old Artists Who Were Actually Wildly Successful in Their Lifetime

5 Horrible Things That Happened to People’s Butts

5 Horrible Things That Happened to People’s Butts

31 Impossible Scenarios That Terrify You Anyway

As we've shown you before, not everyone is terrified by monsters under the bed or in the closet. Sometimes our phobias are a lot stranger, and yet make a lot more sense. For example ...

31
Entry by PedroH

If I sleep with a part of my body hanging out of the bed, some demonic creature is going to grab it during the night and drag me away.

30
Entry by femshep87

I always freak out whenever I have to take a drug test for a new job. For some reason I just know I'm going to fail it, even though I've never done dr

29
Entry by Chan Teik Onn

Even as an adult, I avoid lingering in front of things with a huge empty space beneath them because I always imagine that a pair of clown hands will e

28

After dark, I'm always sure that there's a scary dog behind every corner.

27

Every time I get in the shower I pray there's no earthquake SO I don't have to rush outside in my naked state. CRACKEDCON

26
Entry by KungFuZack

I never watch movies about Possession O Because if i do it will happen to Me CRACKED.COM

25
Entry by ThirdRock

Drinking from a glass bottle puts me on edge. I'm afraid someone will push the bottle into my face and I'l smash my teeth on it. CRACKED.COM

24

I have a deep and awful dread of balloons. I don't mind a bunch of securely tied balloons but when I see a rogue balloon floating around unattended I

23
Entry by PookieJones

I can't fall asleep with my hair over my neck. I'M AFRAID IT MIGHT STRANGLE ME. CRACKED COM

22
Entry by jaoafallas

0 KNOW THAT BIRDS CAN SEE, AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE A GIANT OBSTACLE IN FRONT OF THEM, BUT STILL WORRY THAT IF I RIDE A HOT AIR BALLOON, THE

21
Entry by femshep87

GRACKEDCOM I want to peel your face off, Mommy. I'm just waiting for the day my daughter says something horrifying in a demonic voice.

20

Whenever I see a picture of a person with a GOITER, I'm afraid I will somehow catch it. CRACKED COM

19
Entry by Tokoyoto

CRACKEDCON Before I sit down on the toilet, I always pull back the shower curtain. I'm afraid someone might be hiding in the bathtub.

18
Entry by melissafox134

WHENEVERI D LOSE A NEEDLE, I HAVE A SINKING FEELING I SWALLOWED IT...

17
Entry by 2017hannah

Any time 0 see a snake in the road when I'm driving, lock my doors. DEVIOUS BASTARD.

16

Sometimes D wake up with the idea in my head that I've got some kind of memory disorder, and I'm years older than I think I am.

15
Entry by Chan Teik Onn

x Whenever I hear a plane flying by, I always get a mini panic attack imagining an invasion, even though there is no indication of a war breaking out

14
Entry by ThirdRock

I'M NOT SCARED OF DYING. I'm SCARED THAT AFTER WE DIE, OUR SENSES WILL STILL WORKBUT WE CAN'T MOVE OUR MUSCLES.

13
Entry by Dsackos33

As a kid, my uncle convincd me that the weeds in our yard would BITE ME if I got too close... Now, I get nervous anytime get near the little bastards.

12

Whenever I'm lying with my head on my desk, 0 feel like I'm giving someonea chance to decapitate me.

11

I've heard enough ghost stories to know there's a chance I'm going to find some creepy little dead girl inside my elevator once the doors open.

10
Entry by Lolly~

CRACKED RACCOONS I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE EVERY SINGLE RACCOON HAS RABIES. EVery LAST ONE.

9
Entry by Fooery

I keep getting this scary feeling that something is crawling CRACKED.COM under my skin

8
Entry by Oddbelle

D start getting nervous if I'm in a bank for too long. I'm afraid Il become a victim Of a robbery. CRACKED cO COM

7
Entry by PollyDarton

Despite having been at my job for many years, I am afraid at any moment that my boss will come in and say: We figured out that you have no idea what

6
Entry by jaoafallas

CRACKED.COM I REFUSE TO SWIM NEAR A BUNCH OF SEAWEED BECAUSE THEY COULD GRAB ME AND PULL ME TOWARDS THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN.

5

CRACKEDG CONT I am terrified that someday I'm going to wake up with my mouth ful of spiders.

4
Entry by ashtn

CRACKEDOO ANYTIME I SEE SOMEONE LOOKING AT THEIR PHONE IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION, I CAN'T HELP BUT WORRY THAT THEY'RE TAKING A PHOTO OR VIDEO OF ME & I'

3

Even though 0 know that they can't bite, sting, or hurt me in any wayo they might CRAGKED.OON have evolved, SO 0 will rUN screaming{ from crane flies

2

KNOW I'M NOT A PSYCHOPATH, BUT HAVE A FEAR THAT MIGHT BE WRONG AND THAT e WILL LOSE IT AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME.

1
Entry by femshep87

Ever since childhood I've been scared that if I look in the mirror for too long, or if I turn around and then look back, my reflection will do somethi

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