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25 Events You Learned In History Class (Didn't Happen)

We think we're hot shit with our educations built off of video games, Wikipedia, and Game Of Thrones. Spoiler alert: Everything that stuff taught us about history is totally wrong. Shocking, we know.

So pull up a chair, and let AuntieMeme drop some real historical knowledge on that ass.

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Entry by AM Smiley

'60s HISTORY feminists THE once protested by burning their bras. Men burned their draft cards, So women burned their bras. Because freedom, man. Exc

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Martin Luther HISTORY' THE nailed his thesis to a church door. Disgusted by the corruption in the Catholic church, Luther nailed his 95 Theses where

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6th century chastity HISTORY THE belts were a nightmare. When a man left his wife or daughter alone for an extended period, he'd gird her in padloc

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Remember when SHISTORY THE stockbrokers jumped out windows? It was the Great Depression, and the stock market crash supposedly caused mass stockbroke

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HISTORY' The US freaked out THE when the Soviets beat us to space. Actually, the government was relieved. Thanks to our German scientists, the US ha

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ancient Romans HISTORY ne THE were known for their orgies. Weird, considering they never had any. All those freaky Sex stories were actually propagan

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HISTORY' During the Cold War, THE the president had a phone for calling Russia. Nope. The Red Phone never existed. Not that it wouldn't have been u

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In the Middle HISTORY' THE Ages, rats spread the Black Death. It was thought to be a bubonic plague, and it wiped out 100 million people during the 1

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SHISTORY Those who mind don't THE matter, and those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss 0 03UT CAT Bernard Baruch actually said that. And he wasn't tal

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Remember Paul HISTORY THE Revere's midnight ride? He galloped through the colonies shouting, The British are coming! The British are coming! He wa

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Everyone in HISTORY THE medieval times smelled awful. Actually, they were way into bathing. Contrary to popular belief, medieval people actually lik

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Worlds HISTORY The Warofthe THE broadcast caused widespread panic. Its news broadcast format terrified listeners, who didn't realize they were liste

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HISTORY' Did Napoleon's THE army blast off the Sphinx's nose? Nope. The nose was already gone. Reports dating back to the 1500s - a full 200 years be

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ero fiddled while HISTORY THE Rome burned. As the story goes, Nero wanted more room to build his palace. So he set fire to a neighborhood and played

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HISTORY' Let them THE eat cake! -Marie Antoinette, upon learning that the peasants had no bread to eat. Marie Antoinette never said that. The sourc

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Lady Godiva HISTORY rode THE through town nude. She took her naked horseback ride through the town of Coventry as a protest of her husband's exorbit

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Ancient Greece HISTORY' THE was a place of enlightenment. All the famous philosophers would hang out together wearing sheets and having spirited, rea

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Turn on! HISTORY THE Tune in! Drop out! -Timothy Leary Leary didn't make up that rallying cry. When Timothy Leary belted out that phrase at a counte

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HISTORY' Pre -Renaissance THE audiences loved a good jousting match. Actually, they preferred horseshoes. Jousting wasn't even really possible durin

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Have you heard HISTORY THE that Hoover Dam is full of corpses? Rumor has it, several workers fell into the concrete during construction and died - a

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Entry by AM Smiley

HISTORY' Civil War armies THE marched under the Confederate flag. But not the red one with the X on it. The first Confederate flag, the Stars and Ba

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HISTORY Columbus is the THE discoverer of America. d I COLVMONANTIPODYMRR TEOVI CENEE RALEV Actually, he landed closer to Haiti. Christopher Columbu

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Early Christians HISTORY' THE were fed to lions in the Colosseum. It's one of the earliest, most terrifying examples of Christian persecution and ma

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HISTORY' Our deepest fear is not that THE we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. -Nelson Mandela THE PHENOMENA

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HISTORY The Dark Ages THE were a sickly, miserable time. Actually, it was a good time to be alive. The standard of living was pretty decent, even if

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