21 Long-Game Revenge Schemes

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Or, perhaps, revenge is a dish best served hot, complex, and preferably bloody. There are some people who are happy to do petty things to get back at those who wronged them, and then there are those who put a certain amount of finesse into it and make vengeance kind of awesome.

We're not here to tell some cutesy little stories of how George Clooney pantsed Brad Pitt on the set of the hundredth Oceans movie so Pitt superglued his trailer furniture to the ceiling or whatever. Nah man. This is about truly badass (and deserved) acts of pettiness, stuff that took real risk and tremendous planning. And boy, is it more satisfying than anything Alexandre Dumas could come up with.

With the help of Auntie "Genghis Khan" Meme, we dug up some of the greatest acts of revenge in the history of planet Earth. Go forth and smite your enemies armed with this knowledge.

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Entry by AM Smiley

Shrek WaS a gigantic up-yours to Michael Eisner. Eisner and Dreamworks head Jeffrey Katzenberg were coworkers at Disney until Eisner fired Katzenberg.

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Entry by AM Smiley

Prisoners in a Vermont correctional facility print shop were tasked with printing decals for the state police cars. VERMONT ASTATE POLICE So tHEy adde

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Entry by AM Smiley

In 1999, Stephen KiNg was struck and severely injured by a minivan driven by a man named Bryan Smith. King ended up with Smith kept his a fractured hi

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Entry by AM Smiley

When Lord Byron went to Cambridge, he wanted to bring his dog He was told he couldn't. Apparently the rules of Trinity College specifically forbade do

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Entry by AM Smiley

When Drevlians killed her husband, Princess Olga of Kiev killed 5,000 of them. Pik It began when the Drevlians tried to court the newly widowed prince

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Entry by AM Smiley

Before Arlington became a national cemetery, it WAS the home of Robert E Lee. When Lee defected to the Confederate Army, he and his wife abandoned Arl

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Entry by AM Smiley

Todd Stave is a Massachusetts landlord who received harassing phone calls over the abortion dinic on his property. Protesters would phone his home at

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Entry by AM Smiley

21 Long-Game Revenge Schemes

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Entry by AM Smiley

When Brian McCrary received a retroactive speeding ticket, he took over the police department website. When he got the ticket, he went online to try t

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Entry by AM Smiley

When Home Guard soldiers killed his father and brother, Henry Berry Lowry formed a mixed-race gang and waged war on racists. The Confederate Home Guar

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Entry by AM Smiley

Eliahu Itzkovitz tracked down and befriended the man who killed his family. When Itzkovitz was a child, he saw his entire family murdered by a Romania

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Entry by AM Smiley

Mariya Oktyabrskaya avenged the death of her husband by buying a tank and killing Nazis with it. It was 1943, and her husband was killed in the Battle

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Entry by AM Smiley

Alfred Hitchcock cast Raymond Burr as the villain in Rear Window because he looked like David O. Selznick. Selznick had acted as producer on four of H

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Entry by AM Smiley

For 25 years, George Lucas tried to build a production studio on his Marin County property. His neighbors continually blocked the project, whining tha

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Entry by AM Smiley

Donessa Davis cheated on his wife with three women. His wife found out, and she contacted the women. One of them arranged to meet Davis at a motel, wh

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Entry by AM Smiley

Leonarda Emilio went full vigilante when her lover Was executed. During the Franco-Mexican War, Emilia fell for a French soldier. The soldier was capt

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Entry by AM Smiley

Dante's Divine comedy was written as an act of revenge. Dante Alighieri was part of a delegation sent to confront Pope Boniface VIlL over his rumored

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Entry by AM Smiley

David Bowie went from '70s freak to '80S megastar out of spite. Specifically, he did it to spite his former manager, who was contractually entitled to

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Entry by AM Smiley

After WWII, a special force of Jewish soldiers hunted down and executed former Nazis. They operated until 1 1960, and eliminated hundreds of escaped N

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Entry by AM Smiley

When Rome invaded the lceni and flogged and raped Boudico and her daughters, she rained holy hell on Rome. When King Prasutagus died, Rome figured the