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14 Viral Jokes About Our Own Joke of a Government

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20 Crucial Tips for Not Getting Screwed by the Legal System

Look, we all know the Man is out to get you at every turn. With their laws and their guns and their ... other ... laws. Whatever. We're here to help because fuck the Man!

We asked our readers to clear up some confusion with all those pretty law books our government and its agents possess so that you'll always be prepared. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

PS: Dear, the Man -- we're sorry, we didn't mean it. Please don't shut us down. We love you and thank you for protecting and serving us..

20
Entry by NoTolerance

Lie to you The police can The Supreme Court has ruled that police are allowed to lie to you in order to: Obtain Evidence Obtain Information Obtain Con

CRACKED.COM the hell is a What ARREST? CIT'IZEN'S In the United States, any citizen can performe a citizen's arrest if they reasonably suspect a perso

18
Entry by woweewow

COM Don't want your snail-mail searched? Send it: FIRST CLASS Protected by the Fourth Amendment, First Class Mail & Express Mail can only be opened fo

17
Entry by Phighter

If you illegally record a conversation, federal law REC TIME allows those recorded to SONSY NORMAL sue you. This only applies D to private versations,

16
Entry by Edvamp

Copyright Violation? 'Fair Use' Examples include exceptions use in a news allow use of report, critiques copyrighted or reviews, material without scho

15
Entry by Phighter

Federal employees that decide to whistleblow are protected by the Whistleblowerl Protection Agt. If you're not a federal employee. you're similarly pr

14
Entry by jfg

Want to drink alcohol, but under the legal age? No problem!! Simply visit one of these countries... Cambodia Togo Albania Angola atorialGu: 1amaica Cu

If you live You CAN record the in America, police *In 38 states, as long as you don't interfere with their worko BUT, if you live in California, Conne

12
Entry by Avisia

Take every ticket to a Lawyer or Traffic Law Center. The majority of tickets can be pled down to a lesser offense, such as a non-moving violation. Add

11
Entry by CDBinning

I n The USA there are NO LAWS saying you must carry a ID. However in 24 states if there is reasonable suspicion you're invalved in criminal activity y

10
Entry by ChevySpoons

Carrying drugs in your car? Put them in the center console, or the glove compartment, or the trunk. Why? Because of the Plain View Doctrine. Basical

9
Entry by Kittylouise

IT''S LEGAL TO PRIINT USA PAPER MONEY IN COLOR! FF9559573 BUT DONT GETTOO EX7TD, YOUHAVE TO FOLLOW THESE THREE RULES sO UDON'T GO TO JAIL COUNTERFEITI

8
Entry by Phighter

Who owns a home run ball after it's hit? Before the pitch, Major League Baseball owns the ball. But once the ball is hit over the stands, the ball bel

7
Entry by Howco

20 Crucial Tips for Not Getting Screwed by the Legal System

6
Entry by infrafan

At the court hearing. ask for the calibration records of the Think you got an radar unit used to issue your ticket along with the unfair speeding comp

5
Entry by ChevySpoons

Have you been arrested in a foreign country? You have all the legal rights afforded you by the host country. Plus, under the Vienna Convention, you ha

Am I being detained? C Am I free to go? Useful phrases, but they aren't magic words; Unless you receive a solid response of No, you're free to go

3
Entry by Kitn

You don't even have to open the door. With the exception of an emergency situation, police need either your permission ora Warrant to enter your home.

2
Entry by Phighter

CRACKED CONT POLIC! A pollice officer eG may frisk any person that they have reasonable suspicion of. This is sometimes referred to as Terry because a

1
Entry by Darkwinde2

Those stupid cops forgot to read me my rights! I can say anything I want and they can't convict me! Verdict: You've been watching too much LAW & ORDER

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