24 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, May 3, 2024

24 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, May 3, 2024

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Jason Alexander Memorized George’s Famous Golf Ball Diatribe in Record Time

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British Comedian Canceled By Talent Agency After Threatening to Murder Another Comic

British Comedian Canceled By Talent Agency After Threatening to Murder Another Comic

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21 Wild Secrets Parents Are Keeping From Their Children

Tiny Horrors You (Thankfully) Can't See, That Are Everywhere

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Look, it's reasonable to be scared of things like shark attacks, bear maulings, or having to wipe with single ply toilet paper. The thing is, there are terrors literally all around you that are equally real, but just happen to be invisible because they can't be seen by the naked eye.

In fact, they're probably swarming all over whatever device you're reading this on, right now.

25
Entry by Marconi Rebus

The term sh!tposting' can get too literal. Many people use mobile devices in the bathroom. Perhaps not coincidentally, studies have found traces of fe

24
Entry by Scott Laffey

This monster lives in your cereal, Acarus siro, the flour mite, can cause allergies and carry diseases and it has been detected in over 20% of cereal-

23

This hole keeps crapping on your bed. Millions of dust mites live in your mattress, and each of them takes 50 dumps a day, potentially triggering your

22
Entry by John E.

This fcker can kill you. The mosquito Aedes aegypti is the carrier of dengue and yellow fever. It's found in over 100 countries. CRACKED COM

21
Entry by S Peter Davis

CRACKED.CO Shopping carts are nasty as hell. 50% of carts test positive for E. coli, a bacterium usually found in poop. No need to add it to your shop

20
Entry by Marconi Rebus

CRACKEDCO Ente Shift When did you last clean your keyboard? A regular computer keyboard can host over 3,000 germs per square inch, as opposed to about

19

CRACKED.COM You have eaten insects (and willagain) Do you know how companies get rid of all impurities when processing food? It's simple: They don't.

18
Entry by ValarieJ

Your kitchen sponge can make you sick. Nasty bugs such as E. coli, Salmonella, Staphylococcus, and others can survive and thrive in YOUr sponge. Every

17

CRACKEDCON Acanthamoeba is hungry for your eyes. This parasite can live in the ground, in the water, in the air... everywhere. It can get to you throu

16
Entry by chasem

CRACKED ce YOU really shouldn't chew your fingernails. Researchers have detected harmful bacteria on nail clippings from 24% of men and 15% of women.

15

This could be on your child's head right nowo Say hello to Pediculus humanus capitis, better known as the common head louse. CRACKED COM

14
Entry by S Peter Davis

Legionella lives in your caro This bacterium causes Legionnaires' disease, fatal in 10% of cases and it could be swimming in your windshield wiper flu

13
Entry by SarahMarshall

This nightmarel bug will eat your brain like a zombie. Naegleria fowleri is an amoeba that finds its way to your brain and destroys its tissues. It li

12

CRACKEDCON Chiggers lurk in the wild. These mite larvae are like tiny velociraptors -they're ready to pounce on you and bite as soon as you venture in

11

CRACKED.COM Demodex crawls on your eyelashes. Possibly 100% of people house these monstrosities in their hair follicles, especially on the face. Yes,

10
Entry by Comunacho

Chances are you already have toxoplasmosis. About one third of the world's human population is infected with Toxoplasma gondii, which they got from ca

9
Entry by alphamans

CRACKEDo Your wine isn't made of just grapes. While newer picking machines are getting better at separating grapes from other stuff, small objects and

8
Entry by Scott Laffey

CRACKED COM Have you ever had athlete's foot? Then you've had this. It's a fungus called Trichophyton rubrum, and it can live on your floor, your show

7
Entry by SarahMarshall

This critter is your friend (and you swallow it every day). Copepods are microscopic shrimp found in municipal water sources. They attack and eat mosq

CRACKEDcO This horror causes scabies. This is Sarcoptes scabiei, a mite that causes the contagious skin condition known as scabies. The tiny bastards

5
Entry by Lady_Elle

Your bath sponge can give you boils and rashes. Bacteria such as Acinetobacter (which causes boils and pink eye) and Candida (a common yeast) love to

4
Entry by seino

CRACKED COM This is your tongue. Or rather, it's bacteria on your tongue, seen under an electron microscope. Hmmm, tasty.

3
Entry by Majextic

This is much worse than it looks. This might look like a bunch of harmless balls of Jell-o, but it's actually Plasmodium falciparum, the deadliest str

2
Entry by Ponyboy64

CRAGKEDCOM Bottled water may contain Cryptosporidium and Giardia. We're not saying YOur spring water does carry these pathogens. But while tap water i

1

YoU brush your teeth with what? Flushing the toilet sprays tiny particles of water and poop everywhere. So keep your toothbrush in the medicine cabine

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