Here Are The 21 Worst Excuses To Miss Work, Like Ever

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

Everyone needs a day off, now and then. Unfortunately, unless you work for some hippie company that allows mental health days, getting a break from the daily grind requires some subterfuge. Weirdly, every company seems to have staff who either don't care or aren't smart enough to come up with a plausible excuse. So we've all worked with people who tried to get away with weird, dumb, or transparent reasons for not showing up.

For example ...

21

After fanding out that I made the day's coffee with the bleached coffee flters, a new-age coworker insisted on going home, because she just knew she w

20
Entry by kidrawk

A oeworker once called in that he wouldn't be leaving his house that day because his shoelace snapped. He insisted this was: a bad omen: CRACKEDoO

19
Entry by Busteq

A coworker said he couldn't make it to work because his grandmother died. It was the third time he used this excuse. CRAGKEDONN

18

CRACKED COM NOT IN SERVICE Trsning Vatertor a 0662 The bus didn't come by! It must not be running! he insisted. W.Cleveland Of course, the coworker

17

After spending weeks yapping about his excitement about the release of DISENCHANTMENT my coworker called in on the day it came out, complaining that h

16
Entry by Kalli

Here Are The 21 Worst Excuses To Miss Work, Like Ever

15
Entry by kidrawk

A colleague told our boss that he was expecting a package from Amazon and couldn't come to work. amazon

14
Entry by kidrawk

CRACKED GOM Recently, my colleague told our boss that he couldn't come to work because he wanted to camp out at an Apple store to get the new iP.hone.

13
Entry by kidrawk

CRAGKEDON Our receptionist once said she couldnt come to work because of a bad hair day.

12

My coworker once told our boss he couldn't go to work because of his younger sister's wedding... ...he is an only child. CRACKEDCO

11
Entry by ERRiley

One of my coworkers claimed he couldn't come to work because his new tattoo hurt. MOM 17 The rest of the office figured he must have gotten at least a

10
Entry by Kalli

One of my colleagues claimed she couldn't come to work because the power was out and she couldn't get through her gate.

9
Entry by scandata

A guy from work called in sick with back pain, then was caught hanging out at the beach. His excuse: MY DOCTOR SAiD TO LiE FLAT ON A SOFT SURFACE TO

8
Entry by Sonny Time

A coworker asked to leave work early because his girlfriend just won concert tickets for a show that was starting in a few hours. The boss said no. JF

7
Entry by Glydiot

A COWORKER TOOK THE DAY OFF BECAUSE SHE ACCIDENTALLY CRACKED.COM SCoTCH BRAND CELLULOSE TAPE TRIMS FRINGES CUT HER OWN BANGS ...AND HAD TO FIND SOME

6
Entry by kidrawk

DUDERR my Car? where's A colleague told my boss that she couldn't come to work because she got wasted, the night before, and couldn't remember where s

5
Entry by Ka-ga-mi

heard a co-worker say she couldn't CRAGN come to work because the ending of Avengers: Infinity War left her too depressed.

4
Entry by Tee Ngin Rui

CRACKEDCON 10:48 ie Samei s A coworker said he couldn't come to work because his phone had 2ufesernen a acett e the wrong day and thought it was still

3
Entry by Glydiot

A colleague, who had recently relocated from Los Angeles, called in sick at the first sign of bad weather, stating that in LA, e don't drive when it

2
Entry by Sonny Time

I scratched a pimple on my head and it gave me a migraine. Our office clerk used that excuse once to explain why she couldn't come to work.