23 Common Marketing Ploys That Are Nonsense

The claim "they can't advertise that or else they could get sued" is a wicker shield at best. Not only do companies try it all the time, but some of them have succeeded and continue to sell you products chock full of false information. Capitalism isn't exactly a breeding ground for honesty, or honor, or good-faith actors. Branding is a devious beast. Who could forget the Mad Men pilot, where Don Draper advises the greedy demon executives of the Lucky Strike tobacco company to ignore the “cigarettes cause cancer” research and simply tell millions of passive TV watchers that the cigarettes are “toasted?” Well, that kind of nefarious behavior happens in real life all the time. A depressing amount of time. Like with real companies that we've probably all patronized in the past week.

We asked our readers to bring us the worst offenders and gave $200 to the winner ...

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CRACKED.COM No Animals Were Harmede a program of American Humane Association You may have seen this notice in the end credits of some of your favori

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Entry by Eraser

xerox Our technologies, expertise and services enable your business to operate more efficiently and effectively, whatever the situation. Yeah, right

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Entry by George Oduor

Does your battery run out much faster than the manufacturer claims it should? Uh oh. To get a more accurate estimate of how much use you'll get from a

CRACKEDCO SKECHERS. bime Kim Kardashian fasa S AMT Skechers claimed walking in their Shape-up and Tone-ups shoes will make you slim and trim. To give

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Entry by Bennett Rea

Free-range eggs ...is a meaningless designation. The USDA has ZERO regulations on the use of the term when referring to chickens producing e9gs only

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Entry by PunIntended.

CRACKED.COM Known Aliases: Fruit juice concentrate Glucose Corn Syrup Fructose Dextrose Lactose Nectar Molasses sucrose Malt syrup Maltose Evaporated

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Entry by fascinatorpen

Danone Group, the makers of Chobani Yogurt, likes to use the term evaporated cane syrup* because it sounds heaithy. according to the FDA, this is jus

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Entry by Jordan Rudow

DESCATON 104707 Ford FUSION HYBRID DR EPA Fuel Economy and En DOT HYIRD EXTEION Economy Go Further OFAY ETALLIC Fuel MPG AITO POWERSPLIT LTHE SEAT 47

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Entry by jkazz

>*THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED NEW GUMMIES BY THE FDA. Airborne @ THESE PRODUCTS Immune Support Supplement with Herbs. Vitamins & Minerals

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ACTIVIA R WITH BIFIDUS REGULARISO HELPS REGULATE YOUr DIGESTIVE SYSTEM Notice the R symbol next to Bifidus Regularis? There's a reason for that. It'

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Entry by Ponyboy64

Battled and distribufed by CRACKEDco EVEREST PREMIUM WATERS. Did they really go to Mount Everest to get that water? Water Supply Source: Corpus Christ

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Entry by SomerOf84

Oooh, fancy!!!! 1,000 thread count sheets! Sure, they're SO much more expensive, but soooo worth it! Think again. Many bedding companies include the

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Entry by 404notfound

KILLS 99.99% OF GERMS (UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS) COMPLIANCE TESTS MADE BY MANUFACTURERS DO NOT TAKE INTO MANY REAL- 99.99% OF GERMS ACCOUNT LILLS RE

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Entry by fascinatorpen

CRACKED.COM 7g Fat 4g I Fat Saturated Fat O g Fat Trans F Polyunsaturated mg 4onounsaturated The FDA allows products that have up to 0.5 grams of tran

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Entry by S Peter Davis

UNLESS YOU'RE AT AN EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT. WHAT YOU'RE CALLING WASABI IS PROBABLY JUST HORSERADISH AND MUSTARD DYED GREEN CRACKED.COM

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Entry by forbes

WE PROVIDE HIGH-QUALITYI FOOD, WE. ALWAYS HAVE IT'S REAL BEEF, IT'S REAL CHICKEN, IT'S REAL TOMATOES, REAL LETTUCE, REAL FRUIT, REAL SMOOTHIES, REAL

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Entry by Bennett Rea

5-hour Energy's claim of no crash Later was debunked by a study showing that 24% of users experienced an intense crash after drinking the little sho

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Entry by fascinatorpen

CRACKED COM Libby's PUMI 100 % PURE America's Favorite Pumpir Many brands of canned pumpkin actually use of several one varieties of winter squash i

GRACKEDCO COM NIVEA My Sihouettelr BIO-SLIM COMPLEX Nivea sold their skin cream claiming that regular use would make you thinner. This was later found

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Entry by DarthJay

CRACKEDOON elloggo -01000-80 The claim by Kellogg's that Rice Krispies helps support your child's COCOA immunity is SO outrageous that you probably di

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Entry by MelJel

Naked Juice claimed to be All Natural' and 'Non GMO', until they were found out in 2013. It was discovered that Naked drinks contain genetically alter

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Entry by ikcaj

James Patterson' THE WORLD'S BESTSELLING THRILLER WRITERS Answers the Penultimate Mystery in His Newest Release: HOW? How DOES ONE MAN WRITE 124 FULL-

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Entry by CrackedRIW

vitaminwater GLACEAU, saasnaederesssaande trition Facts Serving Size 8 fl O2 (240 mL) Ok, Lets See: Servings Per Container 2.5 Dar Serving Calories 50