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The 14 Greatest Jobs (That Can Never Exist)

We all grow up hoping to achieve greatness in a totally awesome field of work. Ninja, star fighter, rebel leader against an oppressive regime, the illest rapper alive -- we've all had dreams of being these at one point or the other.

But what would life look like if these were jobs people would actually pay us to do? We asked our readers to show us just that and gave money to the winner. But first, the runners-up ...

14
Entry by ReaperCDN

Special Forces Antl-troll UMERNET POLICE CRACKED CONT

13
Entry by mkad

CRACKEDOOK THE REVENGE AND JUSTICE SUPERPAC VOTE AGAINST We don't care about the politics. We don't care about the parties. CON We care about elected

12
Entry by keanwho

CRACKEDCON NOW HIRING Breathers WE'RE LOOKING FOR: PEOPLE WHO COULD BREATHE SALARY: .O0/INHALE I $250.00/EXHALE *REQUIREMENTS: MUST KNOW HOW TO BREATH

11
Entry by bazooka

TETINGUISMI POMPOSITY GRAGKEDCON

10
Entry by rlx2

The 14 Greatest Jobs (That Can Never Exist)

9
Entry by keanwho

WANT A JOB WITH SWEET PAY? BE AN Ice Cream TESTER! NEVER BE BROKE HAAGEN! SALARY STARTS AT $100.00/LICK PRETTY SWEET DEAL HUH? APPLY NOWI DIABETES NSU

8
Entry by BradyLady

Professional SLAP Slappers Let us slap the STUPID right off of 'eml? CRACKED.COM

7
Entry by TheController

The 14 Greatest Jobs (That Can Never Exist)

6
Entry by filenotfound

CRACKEDCO WANTL 305 HI vol ELP CHEF Stros exp. ANTED Gre: skilis. Call trainer! of heart, Unicorn pure Mustb preferred. Wes females young, Great pay!

5
Entry by mightyzamfir

The 14 Greatest Jobs (That Can Never Exist)

4
Entry by Manx MacReady

CRACKED COMT

3
Entry by pielociraptor

KING OF THE CATS

2
Entry by Danzy

NINJAS ANTED Part time employee NG ADEPBINT 20-25/hr/wk INSIDE WE ST Apply PLEASE HIRINC ow CRACKED.COM

1
Entry by TheBuzzard

CRAGKEDCOM The wild blue yonder is getting wilder... BOLIC A Serve and Protect aees from your living room... as a DRONE COP

Related:

Want To Win An Awesome Home Arcade AND Donate to Charity All At Once?
Want in on this?

We are offering so many opportunities for you to win some dough that it'd be insane if you didn't get in on this. Aside from our photoplasties ($100 per contest) and GIF contest ($150), we are paying out 10 winners for our macro contests. And YES, you can win all 10 spots ($350 payout) if you've got the skills to blow our minds that many times.