The Comedy Central Roast of Chevy Chase was less a collection of humorous burns and more a referendum on Chase’s shitty behavior over the years. A few of his most frequently cited sins: Him treating everyone he worked with like crap, blaming his prolific cocaine usage on “back pain,” torching any bridge within a 100-mile radius of wherever he was standing at the time and his colossal ego. This roasting cut so deep that for the entire show, Chase shifted around awkwardly in his seat, only able to muster the occasional pained chuckle.
As such, it was one of the roughest Comedy Central roasts to watch — if you were Chase. Otherwise, it was a fascinating (and hilarious) case study in watching someone get their comeuppance in real time — not to mention, before their very eyes. It’s all fantastic, but here are a dozen particularly great burns that left a mark that’s still yet to heal.
“What happened to Chevy’s career? I can answer that question in three grams.”
“Who am I to attack Chevy Chase? I don’t know Chevy Chase. I have never met Mr. Chase. Actually, I’m uncomfortable calling him Chevy. The only thing I think of when I look at this man is, ‘There but for the grace of God, go I.’ Why would I tempt the Comedy Gods to leave me pale and pear-shaped — a humorless husk of my former self haunting the halls of Hollywood like some sort of walking, waking cautionary tale, shapeless and odorless and colorless, gray-on-beige, a comedy lamprey just sucking the joy out of everything I touch? I won’t do it!”
“Chevy is a comedy icon, and living proof that you could actually snort the funniness right out of yourself.”
Reading excerpts from her “diary”: “September 30, 1975. Dear diary, Wow, I don’t know if this show is going to work, but you couldn’t ask for a better group of people. Already Jane, Gilda and I feel like sisters. Danny is hilarious and has invited everyone up to his bar in Canada. Belushi’s a little gruff, but it’s obvious he’s a sweetheart. Chevy said to me and I quote, ‘You know, the Holocaust never really happened. It’s a lie perpetrated by the Jews, who own 80 percent of the wealth in this country.’ Then he tried to sell me coke. I didn’t buy any, partly because I didn’t have any money but mostly because he wanted me to use his dick as a straw.
“November 12, 1975. Dear diary, Something terrible happened to Chevy while doing a Gerald Ford sketch. He took a pratfall over a podium and injured his scrotum. I can imagine how painful hurting your scrotum is when you’re as big a dick as Chevy.