“And you go, ‘Oh, was that us? Was that me and you, Tommy? We saved the French? I know I blacked out a little bit after that fourth shot of Jägermeister last night, but I do know we went through the Wendy’s drive-thru to get one of them freschetta sandwiches that looked so alluring in the commercial. Then we ordered it and realized we had no money. We had to ditch out before the second window, and those douchebags in line behind us with the bass music probably got our order and we laughed about that. But I don’t remember saving the French at all. I went through the last 10 calls on my cell phone, and there’s nothing incoming or outgoing to the French lookin’ for muscle on a project. I checked my pants — there’s no mud stains on the knees from where we were garroting Krauts in the trenches at Verdun. I think we didn’t do anything but watch sports bloopers while we got hammered. I think we should shut the fuck up!’”