No matter what J.B. Smoove does, it’s always a good time. His superhuman level of charisma makes him a perfect fit for everything. So to honor this man’s genius and celebrate his 57th birthday, here are 15 of our favorite jokes and moments from his 30-year-plus career.
From his first hour-long comedy special, That’s How I Dooz It, released in 2012. If you want to check out the entire thing, it’s currently streaming on Paramount+.
In addition to his voice work as Black Manta on Teen Titans Go! and Frank the Plant on Harley Quinn for DC, Smoove has memorable appearances in both Marvel’s Spider-Man: Far From Home and No Way Home as Peter Parker’s teacher, Mr. Dell. Frankly, we’d watch an entire movie of Mr. Dell blaming every event in the MCU on witches.
“I know I can’t fight, that ain’t my thing. No, my thing is pressing charges. As soon as I start losing, I am calling the police: ‘Let me tell you something, brotha— SMACK! Ooh, you’re going to jail. You messed with the wrong guy— SMACK! You’re going to jail! SMACK! You almost broke my nose— SMACK! You’re going to jail! What you say— SMACK!’”
If you play Grand Theft Auto V, Smoove is the voice of Chakra Attack host Dr. Ray De Angelo Harris on the West Coast Talk Radio station. If you’re in between missions, it’s worth checking out. A spirituality guru/radio host who keeps losing his shit on callers? Perfect voice casting. The second episode on the enhanced version of GTA V gets even crazier.
How’s this for serendipity? The guys behind Epic Rap Battles of History wanted to do a video featuring Frederick Douglass for a while but never could figure out who to ask to play the part. One night they were presenting an award at an event, and the host was Smoove. They met backstage, and Smoove told them he was a huge fan. Then the wild, unprompted part: He said he really wanted to be in one of their videos and that he wanted to play Frederick Douglass.
Smoove was a writer on SNL from 2003-2006, and during his time there, he’s fondly remembered for coming up with some of the funniest pitches that never made it to air. SNL really needs to bring him back to host the show and finally let some of these sketches see the light of day:
“I am addicted to hockey now. I’ve seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people were having so much fun without me.”
“You ever be talking to somebody, and they’re spitting in your face while they’re talking? They see the spit and keep on talking. I’m saying, ‘Hey! We both saw this coming out of your mouth! Ain't nothing more important than the spit on my face! And that better not be no piece of food — what the hell is this, a piece of steak? I’m a vegetarian! If this landed in my mouth, I’d have to start all over again. Twelve years down the drain for a piece of steak. Open your mouth, open your mouth! Yeah, eat your steak.’”
“I just left Phoenix, Arizona — 115 f–king degrees! 115 degrees is every man for himself. I’ve seen two dudes about to fight one another. One guy’s like, ‘F–k you, what you wanna do? You want some of this, huh? I’ll whoop your ass! Let’s bring it inside! I'll f–k your ass up once we get in this office building.”
“I’m on my version of the protein diet, but there ain’t no protein in it. It’s a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak it overnight in Red Bull. Then you chase it with a Snickers.”
It’s just amazing how this back-and-forth with Larry David was all improv: