Zanandi Botes
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Oh, the trials and tribulations of living with another gross human. It’s what good (and horror) stories are made of. It’s truly considered luck to find the perfect person you can share a space and, most challenging, a refrigerator with. Fictional characters are no different, so let’s see what living under one roof with some of these onscreen personalities would be like. (Results — not good).
*Spoilers Warning*
Columbia Pictures
Let’s get ol’ Hedy out of the way right off the bat (or heel), because we bet most of you won’t be placing an ad looking for — “Housemate to carry rent until I reconcile with my cheating BF even though I promised I wouldn’t LOL. Must hate dogs. Must love murder.”
Power rank: Breakfast every morning / One basement with suitcases full of bodies.
Universal Pictures
The type of housemates reserved for people who don’t mind pubes all over the toilet seat, as well as the occasional pink eye. Know that you will also be living alongside whatever’s been spawning in those house carpets.
Power rank: Daily bongs / Weekly butthole-related infections.
NBC
She breaks Abed’s The Dark Knight DVD, she breaks Abed, and she thought it’d be a good idea to move in with a guy she harbored feelings for while currently harboring feelings for one of his buddies. When she visits Jeff’s apartment in “Intro to Knots,” she immediately starts redecorating the place. Annie would drive us nuts.
Power rank: Haunting your dreams with that pouty face / Probably smells nice.
Universal Pictures
It’s a bear — what, are we five?
Power rank: Many Flash Gordon rewatches / Many, many Flash Gordon rewatches.
NBC
He has one radio show where he doles out advice to whoever's listening, and yet he has everyone else cleaning, cooking and taking care of his quite massive city apartment. He’s extremely materialistic and will constantly complain about your choice of furniture and their severe lack of pretentiousness. He’s very loud.
Power rank: A weekly lecture on the art of feng shui sung to the tune of some Wagner aria.
NBC
Seinfeld, Friends, Will & Grace, any and all Chuck Lorre shows before and after the year 2000 … we’re just going to say no to all of that, because our idea of the perfect roommate doesn’t include someone who consistently brings their worst selves to the party. In real life, none of these characters would be speaking to each other anymore.
Power rank: One laugh track every five seconds for the rest of your miserable life.
Universal Pictures
Sure, Tree’s the one who almost gets poisoned by her roommate, but she isn’t the portrait of a Good Roomie either — not with that attitude. It’d be like living with a whirlwind constantly blowing in your dorm room smelling like stale beer and Cheetos.
Power rank: Therapy.
Universal Pictures
These British immigrant siblings are eccentric and have no sense of boundaries, and yet they look down on Annie struggling to stay afloat during a recession. They’re basically snobs, but snobs who can’t understand that you don’t read other people’s journals. Their accents are hilarious though.
Power rank: British contempt / Less hair shedding.
Disney Media Distribution
You’ll have the house to yourself during most of the day, but you better be a deep sleeper if you want to get any shut-eye whilst living with a bunch of rowdy vampires (and Guillermo). But hey, you don’t have to label your food, so there’s that.
Power rank: The most bolted bedroom door in the history of bolted bedroom doors.
Paramount Pictures
Dewey is the guy who pretends to be your roommate but doesn’t actually pay rent, will impersonate you to steal your job, drive your girlfriend up the wall, and gaslight you into thinking you’re the one who’s got it all wrong. This guy’s a real piece of work.
Power rank: Will probably manipulate you into paying him to live in your apartment.
Fox
Are they much? Sure. Do they spend too much time together? Double sure. But comparing the housemates of New Girl to most any other sitcom friends group makes them look all the more tolerable. They all cook. They all have it pretty much together (except for Nick, who probably makes you feel like you’re living with a friendly ghost). And you get to live with Winston, who is an absolute hoot.
Power rank: Winning every “True American” game.
20th Century Studios
Imagine this, but it’s him cleaning up the kitchen:
Power rank: No more dumb accidents like tripping and falling. Your roommate is literally a life saver.
Universal Pictures
He’s the “cool gay roommate” and the wingman to Scott’s, uh, messed up love life. Sure, he’s a gossip queen, but he’s hardly ever wrong and is arguably the most together person of the lot. He always supports his friends, too, no matter what. Awww.
While Jim Halpert is clearly the most slob person to live with (confirmed by Pam), Darryl Philbin makes him look even worse, because Darryl is the reasonable, considerable type who respects boundaries and won’t just throw his trash all over the living room floor. That is, of course, until Jim corrupts him. God, Jim is the worst.
Power rank: One decent roommate (who can also bring the boogie).
Universal Pictures
Hey, who doesn’t want a friend living in their garden shed just waiting for us to be in the mood for some gaming? Yes, we’re totally selfish like that.
Power rank: A lifelong supply of Cornetto ice cream cones.
Thumbnail: Universal Pictures
