You can typically tell when this moment hits them. They add “Comedian” to their name on social media. They print business cards. They get head shots made where they're holding one of those (ugh) boxy vintage microphones absolutely no one in comedy uses except for show posters.
But then, reality creeps in.
They start to frequent different venues and get up in front of different audiences and that leads to bombing for the first time… hard. Or they start getting rejections from bookers and club managers. Or they enter a comedy contest and lose to a substitute gym teacher. If any or all of those things happen they get a fast baptism in rough nights with long, quiet drives home.
Part of the comedian learning process is accepting that having a bad set will happen, and that you’re gonna have to deal with rejection a lot. Over time, you start to figure out how to read the room better, or how to switch gears in the middle of a set to different material the crowd might like more. If the crowd doesn’t like you, there are things you can do during your set to win them over, or at the very least not bomb that badly.
But despite learning those skills, there will be shows that just absolutely crush your soul. Sometimes so much so that it sticks in your brain going into the next gig, but then you inexplicably wind up crushing it. Or the opposite happens, when you have one of the best sets of your life and you go into the next gig feeling pretty cocky, and then you bomb worse than ever. It can be quite an emotional rollercoaster.
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The trick is to find a way to average out your mindset, where you’re not letting the bad sets destroy your confidence, but you’re also not letting the really good sets go to your head. Find a baseline between those two extremes you can return to before each show. Develop some rituals that help get you to that place every time. Listening to a particular song, walking around outside, stretching exercises, whatever works for you.