20 Key & Peele Jokes For The Hall Of Fame

Craig:  “You said bi*ch, though?”

Daryl: “Hm? Yeah…”

Slave 1: “I’d buy him.”

Rafi: “Guys, who f*cking cares how much I slap-ass? So what, I slap-ass? Big deal man I’m a f*cking baseball player. That's what we do. We f*cking hit home runs and slap-ass.”

Pizza Worker to non-existent Claire: “The moment had that unspoken connection about the cheesy crust. I realized that you were always the one. Because and I know this sounds corny because that moment was just like simple.”

Pizza Orderer Making Up Claire: “...Oh my God Claire just got shot!”

“Let’s not forget the tight ends, Ibrahim Moizoos and Hingle McCringleberry. They’ve both had amazing seasons.”

Obama: “Nice to meet you.”

White House Staff: “Peter Atencio.”

Obama: “Alright, nice to meet you.”

White House Staff: “Jerome Smith.”

Obama: ”C’mon, brother. What’s up fam? You know this.”

Meegan: “Oh nice. That’s really nice.”

Boyfriend: “What do you want me to do, Meegan!?”

Meegan: “Kiss my butthole, okay?”

“It’s scary, tricky, ruthless stuff that black ice. A perfectly safe neighborhood can be suddenly terrorized by the appearance of black ice.”

“For the record black ice never chose to be out here.”

Teacher: “Joe stop it! You will never be Troy!”

Chef Gideon: Well Drew, I have a huge problem with this dish. It’s that you haven't made it for me sooner.”

Drew: “Thank you, Chef.”

Chef Gideon: “Because if you had, Drew, then I would know how good you are at cooking food, that is bad.”

Decker: “I made a vow never to kill another human being. Sorry General, you’re going to have to find someone else.”

General: “Oh. We weren’t thinking you’d do it. We were hoping you could recommend someone for the job.”

Decker: “I guess I could come out of retirement.”

General: “No need. Just a recommendation will do.”

Decker: “Alright, I’ll do it.”

“And who are you, my little friend? Not a spoon, not a fork, but something inbetween. A fpoon. What will you think of next, Germany?”

Liam: “I wish to drown a man.”