Tight Five: April Clark

Let's learn a little more about April.

What's one of your influences that might surprise people?

Before my comedy took off, I was a teacher. I taught freshman-level writing at a university. And, I used to make my students write my jokes for me. They wrote some of my best material. They launched my career. Made me who I am today. Am I allowed to admit to that? Plagiarism used to be less of a big deal. Everyone’s so uptight nowadays. These days, you steal someone’s writing and next thing you know you’re being “sued.” Jesus Christ.

Has comedy changed since you started? How?

I started doing comedy in the early 50s, and the game was pretty different back then. You were allowed to say a lot more things about women and the gays. You can’t say that stuff anymore because the woke mob will come after you. Some of my best friends went down that way. It’s sad stuff. I miss the good old days.

When you were a kid, what really made you laugh?

When I was a kid, I had a pet cat and a pet mouse. They used to chase each other around. The cat was always trying to kill the mouse, but the mouse always played pranks on the cat (dropping a piano on his head, accidentally making him walk off the roof of a building, etc.). That was so funny to me at the time. Now I think it’s kind of hack, though.

What's the biggest trap for someone just starting in comedy?

One of the biggest traps you’ve gotta watch out for, especially in the big city, is pits in the ground covered by sticks and leaves. When you’re in the big city, you think you’re safe from holes in the ground covered by sticks and leaves. But that’s how they get you. Next thing you know you’re stuck in a hole on the upper west side and no one can hear you yelling for help. That’s how I missed ‘Nam.

Here's what April's been into lately:

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Craigslist

Are you looking to buy a used van? Craigslist is one of the best websites you can use to find cheap vans. I bought a big, white, windowless van on the website several years ago, and it was possibly the best purchase of my life. The van is still in great condition and has never let me down. I highly recommend this website.

4

Ravenox Natural Twisted Cotton Rope

This is easily one of the best ropes on Amazon. You can use it to tie anything up. And, the best part: it comes in a wide variety of colors. Purchase every color and braid them all together to create a SUPER rope that shows your #GayPride.

3

Amazon Basics Multipurpose Cable Ties

Is rope not cutting it? Use zip ties. Whether you’re using these to bind someone’s wrists sexually or non-sexually, these are the zip ties for you. And, the best part is that these zip ties are Amazon Basics brand. I really trust the Amazon Basics brand. I wish I could shop exclusively from Amazon Basics.

2

AmazonCommercial Standard Duct Tape

This is one of the best duct tapes on Amazon. It’s so strong. I put a strip of it over my own mouth (just to test) and I couldn’t say a WORD. One of my favorite things about this duct tape is how cheap it is. Even if you’re not a rich and famous comedian like I am, you can probably afford this duct tape.

1

Girl God

Girl God is the most famous transgender comedy duo of all time. I’m a huge fan of their work, and I highly encourage you to go see them on tour. They’re doing shows this spring in LA, Portland, Seattle, New York, and San Francisco. All tickets are available at the link above! You don’t want to miss it. They can be a little transphobic, but I honestly kind of like that. It turns me on a little bit.