Comedy is an artform. The greatest comedians of our age are our Van Goh's and Michelangelo's. We've compiled 15 of the best jokes… or Mona Lisa's if you will. I don't know if this analogy has legs. Here's 15 jokes for the comedy hall of fame.
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15
Demitri Martin
Don't burn your toast while having a stroke.
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
The exact thought I have whenever I see a log truck now.
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"I've never understood log trucks, sometimes you'll be out on the highway, you see two big giant trucks loaded up with logs, and they pass each other on the highway... I don't understand it. I mean, if they need logs over there... and they need 'em over there, you'd think a phone call would save 'em a whole lot of trouble."
“I saw the movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. Then I realized why: they’re crouching and hidden.”
This joke is almost 10 years old now, and I think he's manifested it.
“I want to be so famous that I’m the pop-culture reference that people would make to try and be racist to me. So I’d be walking down the street, and someone would be, like, ‘Hey, look at this Kumail Nanjiani."
Gilbert Gottfried was a regular on Hollywood Squares. In this famous clip Gottfried comes up with amazing punchlines on the spot, then proceeds to mess with both contestants, intentionally trying to make them guess incorrectly. RIP to this joke savant.
If that's what sex is, I lost my virginity WAY too early.
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “The man goes on top and the woman underneath.” For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."
"I woke up in anambulance. And it wasn't nothing but white people staring at me. I said, Ain't this a b***h. I done died and wound up in the wrong muthaf****g heaven."
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