The Subplot No One Talks About:
This beloved family favorite was slightly more adult than you might realize. For starters, the wacky misunderstanding that lands the baby in the arms of three bachelors involves … a heroin deal? Early in the movie, Ted Danson’s character, Jack, agrees to let his friend deliver a “package” to his apartment while he’s away, which basically feels like an after school anti-drug PSA for thirty-something dudes.
20th Century Studios
20th Century Studios
When the baby shows up on their doorstep, Gutenberg and Selleck assume that it’s the package. And after multiple scenes of them attempting to decipher how a diaper works, two drug dealers show up for the package. Naturally, they hand over the baby. And because everyone involved in the drug trade is an amoral psycho, they gladly accept this adorable infant in a crib instead of the box full of heroin they were going to sell as part of their business that in no way involves babies.
20th Century Studios
Selleck eventually realizes his mistake after finding the heroin between the couch cushions, (which is always where remote controls and boxes of heroin are) and dropping it all over his apartment building lobby.
20th Century Studios
He gets the baby back, but makes an enemy out of the drug dealers; ultimately they have to take these crooks down in an abandoned construction site, where any and all illicit events occurred in the 1980s it seems. Again, this is a weird way to end your baby-themed movie. Presumably the upcoming Disney reboot will replace heroin with, like, Disney Princess multivitamins.