Grandparents’ places are no better: My parents’ house has a brick fireplace hearth that is just great for jumping off of, plus a million breakable trinkets they haven’t had to worry about a toddler touching for 20 years. One time at my in-laws’, my kid crawled into the kitchen to “help” his grandmother cook. Everything was fine and cute, 18-month-old and 70-year-old having a nice moment … until we hear “HE’S GOT A MACHETE” because the one cabinet he opened happened to have a (fortunately sheathed) knife in it. Nothing bad happened and it’s funny now, but I bring it up as an extreme illustration of what kids are great at: finding forgotten things in dusty hiding places and giving their parents heart attacks.
Here’s the real kicker: All those hilariously terrifying possibilities that happen because other people’s houses aren’t baby-proofed? Turns out, your kid will grow taller, get stronger, and most chillingly, get smarter. That means whenever you start babyproofing, you’re not finished until … I actually don’t know when. The process does not stop. It was around 8-12 months when we started stuffing outlet blockers into the walls, and two and a half years later, my kid figured out he can push a basket full of blankets across a room and leap over his baby gate, making the baby gate … less than pointless? Speaking of baby gates, let’s talk about those a minute …