The Top 10 Cracked Posts You Shared Last Week - 3/22

10

16 Surprisingly Simple Self-Defense Techniques

Elbow strikes have a closer effective range than punches, and if you're really lucky/brutal/UFC-ready you'll blind that assailant with their own blood. #Photoplasty

Gold Star Comment: "My tactic is to strip naked and twirl my junk while making race car noises."

9

5 Beloved Celebrities Everyone Forgets Did Terrible Things

We should have known something was up when he started playing his guitar with a bow. #CrackedClassic

8

5 Popular Parenting Fads That Make Sense (And Screw Kids Up)

"Children, while certainly having a capacity for untold stupidity, are incredibly perceptive little bastards." If you're staying in a marriage just for the sake of the kids - "Studies show that they are very capable of picking up on all of that simmering hostility, and that it has a negative effect on everything they do."

7

5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy

Simo must have known he had the Russians rattled when they started blasting hillsides willy-nilly with artillery to try and nail him. #CrackedClassic

Taking Us All to School Comment: "The article missed two important facts about Simo's method of operation. 1. Most of his kills were made using mere ironsights, the longest recorded distance being around 450 meters. He didn't use the scope because of the potentially revealing lens glint. 2. He ate snow to keep his breath from turning into another revealing element: vapor."

6

16 Famous Movie Mysteries (That Have Totally Been Explained)

Have you ever gone Back To The Origin Story? #Photoplasty #CrackedClassic

Gold Star Comment: "Back when a teenage kid could hang out with an old dude in a dusty shed and the police didn't have to get involved."

5

6 True Stories That Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity

There are rich people who blow their money on bullsh!t, and then there are people who do great things with it. Batman-related things. #CrackedClassic

Gold Star Comment: "at least he chose the version without bat nipples"

4

The Creepy Scientific Explanation Behind Ghost Sightings

Could it be? All of these hauntings, all of this folklore, all of it caused by something so, so stupid? #CrackedClassic

Notable Comment: "Not cool, man. Some of us are staring at our phones in the darkness."

3

15 Secretly Brilliant Reasons Stuff is Designed That Way

Also, it allows the creepier children to act out that Ray Liotta scene from Hannibal. #Photoplasty

Gold Star Comment: "And if the child keeps swallowing heads it will form a totem pole inside the child, earning respect and awe from its peers."

2

5 Moments That Prove Mr. Rogers Was the Greatest American

Happy birthday, Mr. Rogers! Sit down, neighbor, and hear of a man who did not conquer the world, but did it one better; he reminded us that the world needs unity rather than conquest. #CrackedClassic

Gold Star Comment: "Interesting thing about Mr. Roger's birthday: it's the first day of the year according to the Bible. It's probably also the day the angels were created."

1

5 Facts Everyone Gets Wrong About Depression

If you're feeling this way - we hope you can get help. We want all you guys to enjoy life. #CrackedClassic

Notable Comment: "this is the warmest, most friendly words you ever typed since... ever"

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